What it means to me ?

When it comes a relationship, I'm looking for a certain connection.
A connection that lasts no matter what situation.
Am I considerate of your feelings. Yea I am.
Being the gentleman
Treating her with kindness and respect.
Hope she is the one for me and does not become an ex.
People say relationships come and go.
If we do break-up , well at least I know.
What I meant to you and what you meant to me.
One of the many paths of destiny.

Damn, Why not Me ? SMH

My Feelings are in a swirl.

Looking for just one girl.

In this cold messed up world.

From a distance I take a glance.

I picture us dancing even though I can't dance.

I ask what is your name.

I get silence and look full of shame.

Damn, Is every girl like this.

Pretty on the outside, hiding all that malice.
What should I do?

I could really use a helpful clue.

I know I'm not the first who walk to her.

But I know that I'm different from the others.

Hearing that " You're not my type".

What the hell is type and is it right.

Is everyone so picky?

A million different reasons on why It can't be

Seriously at this rate  I want to leave.

Leave it up to destiny.

 

The Darkness Holds me

I hear myself going on and on about I'm stuck
The people that stare at me don't give a fuck.
All around me those eyes are.
Staring at from the inside of a car.
I wish i knew what to do.
Other than go to my room.
There the depression begins and ends.
it creeps up on me when I'm alone.
When no one messages or calls me on the phone.
I crawl into bed
Holding my head.
Not moving as if i were dead.
Going down instead.
Into the black abyss.
That Heavy darkness
I don't see a way out.
I cannot get past these walls of doubt.
No motivation and a lack of will.
I feel empty and unfulfilled.
Want things to change
 Yet, Things stay the same.
Body feels weak.
Head feels like i just got beat.
Can't even enjoy the end of the week.
Got work on Monday, Oh lovely.

Narrow road to destiny.

I want to live a life full of positive feelings.
Yet all that exist around me is negativity.
Thinking that i can go far and escape.
Yea, Big Mistake.
It follows me where ever I go.
Like someone forcing their opinion down my throat.
I look for a hand but it's not there.
Shaking my head and saying so fair.
Is it up to me?
Being Lonely.
Feeling Empty.
Nothing to satisfy me.
I really don't like being this way.
Not like this each and every day.
Put my hands together and pray.
Lord  please help me find a way.
Change the way I think and feel.
What I go through each day is real.
Feeling Hungry but don't want to eat.
The pain hurts, so I try to get some sleep.
I can't sleep and the nightmare goes on and on.
Struggling and fighting until its all gone.
I wake up tired and with out energy
I still have things to do.
Before I walk outside i say one last thing before i leave the room.
Thank you Lord for sparing my life.
You are my Guide.
Guide me to my destination.
Allow me to overcome this dire situation.
Show me that i am better than them.
That i'm not ignorant. I'm able to understand.
As a man.
I am learning what drives me.
Driving me on that narrow road to my destiny.

The truth from my experiences.

We are created individually.

Living in a selfish society.

Following the daily routine.

Looking closely

Trying to figure out what it all means.

Not everyone is nice, it seems.

Blinded and Now I see

I'm blinded by love.
I'm Confused, but I still would like to hug.
Why are my feelings so strong.
To be with you is that so wrong?
I wonder will I meet the right person someday.
I can't give up here, so i look up to heavens and pray.
God, guide me to the one that relates to me.
Lead me through the thick fog so that I may see
The one for me...
Looking at the many women that pass me by.
So shy
I struggle just to utter the word "Hi"
One answers back and I go from there.
While she other plan, I was flying through the air.
It felt good to have this kind of connection.
But its like wifi, it works in different sections.
 It doesn't work out for me. Damn that sucks.
Learning from the mistake of leaning on too much.
I been told that I've have a big heart.
A big heart that gets rejected alot and falls apart.
Picking up the remains.
Are all woman the same?
Is it even worth the pain.
I'm would like to be with just one.
One woman.
Who knows what she doing.
Aint about the games or tricks.
All that will do is get you in some shit.
So at the end of the road.
In my heart I know.
That there is someone there for me.
Waiting to be found.

Its a Cold World man

People really get on my nerves.
Things I hear makes me feel like dirt.
I wish that had a mute button.
That way i don't have to hear nothing.
Nothing you say matters anyways.
Grow the fuck up and have a nice day.
I hear ya" make your money".
Money doesn't make me.
Rather being inside just writing..
Those boring days and not a single call.
Sitting down with my laptop against the wall.
Writing the words.
Trying to be heard.
Doing what I can
Can you understand?
What it means to feel like an outcast man.
Trying to be social in cold world.
All those mixed signs, You making my head spin girl.
Just being me and trying to have a conversation.
The end result is me and you have no relation.
Nothing in common and you playing with the phone.
Why did I even bother ?  Should have stay home.
Why are people so cold.
What is there that they care about the most.
I care about helping people out.
Even though I do, I start to doubt.
Questioning every single little thing.
Not exactly what i planned on doing.
Can't do what i need to.
Going out there I don't want to be fool.
Lord Give me wisdom to answer the question.
To listen to that wise suggestion.
To keep me motivated in life.
Keeping me from holding a knife.
There is hope.
Keeping my friends close.