So close and yet so far.

Whenever I try to get close, I end up far.
I know I don't know what the signs are.
So damn confusing.
Feels like I am always losing.
 So, Here I am again
Trying to understand
You and what you are all about.
Thinking you're slick with your smart mouth.
Telling me that I am cheap.
Saying mean things cause you think I am weak.
Well I got news for you.
That attitude you carry don't make you  look cool.
It makes you look like a sad excuse.
Treating me like shit.
You wonder why men refer to you as a bitch.
All these different reason on why you won't date this guy.
Got a nigga at home staring at the phone , thinking why.
After all the senseless drama, I have my mind made up.
Like tupac says " I just don't give fuck".
I aint desperate or thirsty.
Just would like to find someone who is worthy.

My Existence

People ask me How I'm doing I say I'm fine.

That's a lie cause I look sad all the time.

The life I live is something I have to deal with.

The world is like the sea and I'm just one of many fish.

I don't choose to wake up with my head hurting.

or

to get up, go out and start flirting.

What is wrong me? What is wrong with you.

People saying this that and the third.That shit ain't cool.

All I want is Peace.

Peace of mind for once Please.

No more looking back and doubting myself.

Focus on being me and not someone else.

For I must Speak up in order to be heard.

Listen close to these words.

You will not take me away from this.

I am here to stay. I do Exist.

Looking for IT

These days I wondering Where is my Head.

Nightmares keep telling me I better off dead.

The Pain  that i am feeling is everlasting.

Not eating much feels like I am fasting.

Seeing all these images on how I would die.

 Through all of that, How am I still alive?

What keeps me here and how can I find it?

Everyday I wonder about it.

That thing that keeps me here on Earth.