The Puzzle Piece

I feel so Lonely. It feels like something is missing.

I am not sure what it is missing.

Its like a puzzle piece that is lost in room.

Until I find that piece, all that i feel is gloom.

Feeling is like a black storm cloud over my head.

Voices whispering telling me I better off dead.

I don't need that. 

I dont need another anxiety attack.

I just want to find peace.

Want to express myself and be free.

Why Can't I find My heart.

Why can't I find my heart again.
Is it possible that I have yet to understand.
What love really means .
What does it mean to me ?
Find Someone and just settle.
No, its on a completely different level.
Love is special as the person it is meant for.
Brings you closer and so much more.
I used to know what that felt like.
Now I just feel lonely at night.
I hope this feeling doesn't last for to long.
Tired of listening to sad love songs.
I want to get myself right before that sensation is gone.
Let the time come for me to find that someone.
Hopefully One day.
I can wake up and say,
I Love You.

Life and Patience.

All these thoughts and so little time.
I should take the time to write down some lines.
It will clear my head, just for a little bit.
Every day the same ol thing. The same shit.
Where is the change, I say where can I find that.
It's not a simple as pulling out a rabbit In a top hat.
The struggle of dealing with decisions that I made.
Thinking about it so much, so much time I waste.
 Getting upset about something that I had no control over.
Taking the time now to find closure.
The thing about life is that with it you have to be patient.
Its the only way to make it.
Take it slow and a day a time.

A moment during a storm

In the midst of a strong wind.
Struggling to keep going.
 I think to my self.
Why I should I keep going?
I have nothing else.
Maybe I should let the wind take me.
Its better than this pain I am feeling
The pain is there but only for so long.
Learn to forgive yourself for all your wrongs.

Cracks in my brain

I see myself on a ledge looking down.
Its cold and dark and there is no one around.
Not moving and not making a sound.
Tears flowing followed by a frown.
How did I end up here ?
 Surrounded around by all my fears.
Its been some years 
Since I've held something dear.
Close to my heart.
Times before I would just fall apart.
I hate to lose something.
Losing something that means a lot me.
I don't want that.
Sealing off the cracks In my brain 
Depression makes everything sound the same.
That's why there is change.
So I never have to go back to that again.

Only a few

I look at everyone and I see only a few.

Only a few ?

Really out of all those people I only see a few.

Those people that I see  are my friends.

Those few friends I know sticking to the end.

it's not much but hey I see  it all now.

I don't need to be in the center of the crowd.

I'm fine right where I am.

At least I know where I stand

I don't complain and I do what I can.

For the friends who are there who see what I can do.

Thanks for reaching out helping me pull through.

Out of hell.

Recovering and doing well.

I leave behind the regrets

Regrets hinder me from finding out what happened next.

A note that shouldnt come to pass

Why must this happen again.
Why do I want all this to end.
I see myself with no much option left.
Once I go I can never go back thatis death.
This pain I feel in my heart wont fade away.
Lasting thru the night into the next day.
I really can't sleep.
I really can't eat.
I feel so shitty with no way to fix this .
I'm always getting myself into some shit.
What is the purpose of my existence.
To be a contradiction of what I'm suppose to be.
The man who follows his heart and his destiny.
But now what does he do.
Doesn't have a clue.
where does he go ?
Nobody knows
The only thing to know is that he should be alone.
Far from anyone or anything.
He hurts ppl who get close to him.
Always take the blame.
Holding his head down in shame.
He really just wants to quit this game.
 But it's not a game it real life.
Struggling to stay away from the knife.
In the silence of night.
He just wants to say he is sorry
Sorry for everything .....