Suicide- what it means to me

Killing yourself, Does it make sense?
Keeping it in, the pain worsens.
Reaching out for someone to help you.
Not all the time there is good news.
At a time like this, what do you do?
Go to the bathroom to take a few bayer.
or
Going to room to say a prayer.
The pain will not go right away.
Hoping for something good to happen the next day.
Not everyone is the same.
I am not talking about some game.
This is my life.
Asking myself, 
Do I really want to die?
The answer is....
NO!
Hell isn't a place I want to go.
I know there is somewhere I belong.
For someone like me who has done wrong.
Carrying around that bag of s**t.
I don't deserve my life, but I am grateful for it.
Leaving it right there on the doorstep.
Got to think, What am I going to do next?
Walk and find my my own path.
Searching for peace and not to feel like crap.