a lil start on something new.

I am sitting here in a chair.
Watching a plane fly through air.
I would like to be on that plane.
Everyday in this chair is the same.
Go online and look at Facebook.
At times its not even worth to look.
I wish that things were interesting.
Who knows what the next day will bring?

Bringing Myself out of the past

It been 3 months and I have lost something.
Bits and pieces of my memory.
School is hard for me and hard for me to focus.
All these distractions coming at me like a swarm of locusts.
I want to excel and make myself proud.
I can't wait for it, I have to do something now.
Sure I play cards but that's not all I want to do.
I would like to learn something benefiting to me to.
I thank God that I have friends and family as well.
To be happy with myself and not fall down into hell.
I do feel like no one is there at times.
That is the depression committing a crime.
Making me believe something that isn't true.
Man, that just not cool.
God is there for me and my friends are also with me.
As well as my family.
Depression is a pain in the ass.
Bringing up that bad moments from the past.
I have accepted what has happen and learned from it.

Collection of thoughts

At last I feel no more anxiety.
Am I ready to face society?
Feeling the pain, I know it will heal.
To use my voice to express how I feel.
God above and my friends that are there.
Smiles all around and laughter in the air.
Being a role model to the little ones.
Showing them they can have fun.
Right now, I understand what is truly important.
To take care of myself and to be considerate of others.
People who lend a hand because they want to matter to me.
It helps to separate those who care from those who don't.
Why should I be so concern with people looking at me?
It is sad enough that they are doing that despite they could be doing something else.
I have problems but I don't want to harm others with it.
However, I should take the time to express it.
By writing or just playing a video game.
I only have one life and I need to learn as much as possible .
At times I feel like I should give up.
Falling behind the others in class.
Can't remember the basics.
I pray for the answer on how to solve this problem.
I still have 3 more classes to pass.
God I will put all the effort I have in to those three.
Lend me your hands,
Working together to build something new.
I maybe down now, but then I stand back up.
It happens to the best of us, but I know I can't give up.
Clear my mind and remember that school is important.
Also that I am not alone.
I am a adult, but I am still a student.

reality hits home

I have a job but I can also be lazy.
I earn my money but I spend on things that I don't need.
Is it because i try to be like everyone else?
Is it to make myself happy?
Why is it when it too late that is when I realize my mistakes.
I can't take it back and I'm feel like I am stuck.
Good to have money and broke then next second . what luck.
Every dollar I make counts. Spending 5 or 6 bucks does add up.
I do tend to eat out why I don't know.
 Its understandable when I am outside for a while.
But when I am here i shouldn't do that.
I have soups, canned beans and rice.
All of that can fill me up just right.
God i can only ask for you mercy and guidance.
I am such a fool to think I can handle the world alone.
The pressure from the stress makes my head hurt.
Not enough water to hydrate me.
Not enough sleep to keep me rested.
Not enough food to keep my stomach from growling.
And yet hear I am complaining saying no one cares.
Why am i so focus on what other people think when.
I am hurting myself with the lack of sleeping, resting or eating.
Its my fault why I feel like this.
Its only going to get worse unless I change my habits.
I can't get scared every time I go upstairs.
I can't get scared leaving the house.
I cannot give in to fear or doubt.
I must change in order to improve myself.
I have to drink water regularly.
I have to eat food.
I have to make it so i have time to rest.
Starting now I must do what is required of me.
How can i help others if I can't help me?