The Step before the Plunge.

All that loneliness and nowhere to go.
Right in front of me is a deep hole.
Running from what I'm suppose to do.
All these messages trying to get through.
I listen and nod.
Saying that is odd.
How folks give their opinion and they know nothing.
Yes, I had a chance to do something.
Didnt finish all the way and I failed.
Fell all the way down because I let go of the rail.
Damn that hurt.
The images in my head are worse.
Seeing myself take my own life.
Will it be with pills or a knife.
Now i sound like a suicidal case.
Listening to the fact, Realizing that everyone mistakes.
Let me back away from that bottomless pit.
Getting myself together and strengthing my grip.
It will take time to deal with the loneliness.
It easy to be alone but so is forgivness.
Being Grateful to God for the chances
Edifying my defenses.
Living with what I've done.
Accepting the responsibility of being the only one.
I have to look out for me.
Proving to myself that I am somebody.