A note that shouldnt come to pass

Why must this happen again.
Why do I want all this to end.
I see myself with no much option left.
Once I go I can never go back thatis death.
This pain I feel in my heart wont fade away.
Lasting thru the night into the next day.
I really can't sleep.
I really can't eat.
I feel so shitty with no way to fix this .
I'm always getting myself into some shit.
What is the purpose of my existence.
To be a contradiction of what I'm suppose to be.
The man who follows his heart and his destiny.
But now what does he do.
Doesn't have a clue.
where does he go ?
Nobody knows
The only thing to know is that he should be alone.
Far from anyone or anything.
He hurts ppl who get close to him.
Always take the blame.
Holding his head down in shame.
He really just wants to quit this game.
 But it's not a game it real life.
Struggling to stay away from the knife.
In the silence of night.
He just wants to say he is sorry
Sorry for everything .....