Down but not Out

I am a poet but what am I now?

A poet who has his head down.

It's been 3 months since I've started here.

I've lost my way and enveloped by fear.

Looking for a way out, it's not easy.

Even though it's spring. Its quite breezy.

I feel as if I am all over the place.

Days goes by and I am still making mistakes.

Feeling sad and failing my classes.

All these problems come at me in masses.

Losing faith in myself, nothing makes any sense.

I've failed this time, but I will do my work again.

Depression allows my thought to be misleading.

The problem lies within me.

The gates of hell try to pull me in.

I have come so far, I can't let the devil win.

There is good inside me, I know it is there.

Putting the doubts in a bag and let it float through the air.

I count my blessings and doing what I can.

I am not a little boy anymore, I stand now as a man.

Even if people think otherwise.

I am glad that I am alive.

I should write more in April.

Not having a memory does include a list of problems.
Having no sense of who you really are.
Am I really a good person who helps others?
Do I feed off the negativity that society gives off?
It is confusing at times.
These last 3 months have somewhat helped.
Its true that I have done bad things in the past.
I cannot go back in time to fix those things.
What I can do is learn from this.
My experience during my life have shown me
Not everything is meant to be.
That goes for either good or bad.
I don't always have to feel sad.
It's not worth getting mad.
God is there and he is my guide.
To show me the who, what,where, when and why.
When I feel sad, I want to cry.
So I go outside and look at sky.
It's clear and cool out there.
Watching the birds fly through the air.
It be my turn to fly.
Starting now I fly toward the future.
I thank the friends that have stood by me.
Showing me that I am a good person.
That I should value my life.
I shouldn't have to go through the strife.
Or trying to go somewhere to look for a knife.
I am happy that I am alive and well.
Not dead somewhere wandering through hell.
Watching me from the heavens above.
God created me and I do appreciate his love.