What it means to me ?

When it comes a relationship, I'm looking for a certain connection.
A connection that lasts no matter what situation.
Am I considerate of your feelings. Yea I am.
Being the gentleman
Treating her with kindness and respect.
Hope she is the one for me and does not become an ex.
People say relationships come and go.
If we do break-up , well at least I know.
What I meant to you and what you meant to me.
One of the many paths of destiny.

Damn, Why not Me ? SMH

My Feelings are in a swirl.

Looking for just one girl.

In this cold messed up world.

From a distance I take a glance.

I picture us dancing even though I can't dance.

I ask what is your name.

I get silence and look full of shame.

Damn, Is every girl like this.

Pretty on the outside, hiding all that malice.
What should I do?

I could really use a helpful clue.

I know I'm not the first who walk to her.

But I know that I'm different from the others.

Hearing that " You're not my type".

What the hell is type and is it right.

Is everyone so picky?

A million different reasons on why It can't be

Seriously at this rate  I want to leave.

Leave it up to destiny.

 

The Darkness Holds me

I hear myself going on and on about I'm stuck
The people that stare at me don't give a fuck.
All around me those eyes are.
Staring at from the inside of a car.
I wish i knew what to do.
Other than go to my room.
There the depression begins and ends.
it creeps up on me when I'm alone.
When no one messages or calls me on the phone.
I crawl into bed
Holding my head.
Not moving as if i were dead.
Going down instead.
Into the black abyss.
That Heavy darkness
I don't see a way out.
I cannot get past these walls of doubt.
No motivation and a lack of will.
I feel empty and unfulfilled.
Want things to change
 Yet, Things stay the same.
Body feels weak.
Head feels like i just got beat.
Can't even enjoy the end of the week.
Got work on Monday, Oh lovely.

Narrow road to destiny.

I want to live a life full of positive feelings.
Yet all that exist around me is negativity.
Thinking that i can go far and escape.
Yea, Big Mistake.
It follows me where ever I go.
Like someone forcing their opinion down my throat.
I look for a hand but it's not there.
Shaking my head and saying so fair.
Is it up to me?
Being Lonely.
Feeling Empty.
Nothing to satisfy me.
I really don't like being this way.
Not like this each and every day.
Put my hands together and pray.
Lord  please help me find a way.
Change the way I think and feel.
What I go through each day is real.
Feeling Hungry but don't want to eat.
The pain hurts, so I try to get some sleep.
I can't sleep and the nightmare goes on and on.
Struggling and fighting until its all gone.
I wake up tired and with out energy
I still have things to do.
Before I walk outside i say one last thing before i leave the room.
Thank you Lord for sparing my life.
You are my Guide.
Guide me to my destination.
Allow me to overcome this dire situation.
Show me that i am better than them.
That i'm not ignorant. I'm able to understand.
As a man.
I am learning what drives me.
Driving me on that narrow road to my destiny.