a short poem. Trying not to Fall.

So busy worrying.
All I am doing is hurting.
Rejection is what I'm used to seeing.
Am I not a human being?
Let me breathe, Let me Exist.
I don't enjoy living like this.

Why is it so hard?

Reaching that place, its so far
I don't know the answers for the questions I seek.
My life is in God's hand.
At least He understands.
Only made one of me.
Told me that I am unique.
Giving me the ability
the Ability of writing.

Walking Thru Dirt.

I'm bare foot, just wandering through the dirt.
Seems I do nothing but express how to hurt.
Did it really have to come to this.
My feeling have left me, is that it.
Is that what was in store for me?
Wandering through dirt, is that my destiny?
Unbearable pain makes this journey insane.
Walking a bit more I see you on the grassy plain.
The grass feels soft under my feet.
I could stand there beside you, that would be neat.
It feels like a dream standing in this grassy field.
I cant stop now I have to continue up this hill.
This is hill is tough
Few steps more would be enough.
As I stand at the top, I look down.
Suddenly I realize there's no one around.
I didn't make it this far just to die.
I walked up that hill to feel alive.
I'm not all bad, but i do get sad.
Pushing my button can get me mad.
I hold myself back.
Don't need to have another attack.
Its a fact.
View me as I am.
Take the time to understand.

Sad Thoughts, Dark Thoughts,

As I walk, You enter my mind.
Thinking about now, was it all waste of time?
Trying to find right words to put on the line.
Those sad words that come up aren't mine.
They are from a broken man.
Crying from the pain, wiping away the tears with his hand.
Blaming himself.
Saying the fault is his and no one else.
Dealing with our problems is easier said than done.
Currently in my life, there is very little fun.
At times when I'm occupied,thoughts come into my head.
Thoughts can just break me like bread.
I want them to go away.
That would make my day.
The day where I can just say.
Dark thoughts you don't control me.
Listening to you will be the death of me.
Staying away from jealousy and envy.
I walk down my path peacefully.
Beyond me is  my destiny.
Who know what adventures will come.
As long as I remember where I came from.

Waiting around Sucks.

I aim
to not play games.
and to remain sane.I ask myself this question, is it me or is it this world.
Am I so simple that I just fall for one girl.
A girl who has stories to tell.
A girl willing to pull me out of my shell.
Someone I can just be myself around.
Hearing her voice such a lovely sound.
I been sailing through the sea of bullshit.
Yet, I wonder does she even exist.
 I do care for her to not turn me down.
 leaving leaves me with a frown.
"Lovely right"
I try and I try.
But no one in really into me.
God, I ask to send me a woman please
All I can do is be patient.
It get lonely in here just waiting.
I don't know, feeling I'm losing touch.
Honestly, This really sucks.

Thinking about love in the New Year.

Staying inside the room,
That is all I do.
Wish I could do something new.
I keep thinking of you.
What you are doing?
How are you feeling?
I wonder about these things.
Can I admit to you? What would bring.
Would it bring a smile?
or
would you want me to be far away for a while.
I must wait for her to come find me.
Is that my destiny.
Time doesn't wait for anyone.
I have to continue to work, no time for fun.
This sucks, I'm only looking for one.
I wouldn't where to start.
Only that I know how to be far apart.
I see you and recognize your beauty.
That's only a part of the mystery.
I would like to know more about her.
Would this make this things better?
I hope so.
I find myself going through pain the most.
for these people I like.
Maybe they are right.
So give me the chance to fight.
I want to be there.
Isn't that at least fair?