Overthinking

In my head I already know.
That it is just me.
Me
Over thinking.

Keeping to myself ,how could anyone know.

Know what is going on with me.
Knowing that I am constantly thinking
Thinking of what is best.
Thinking of where to go or what to do next.
In My mind
There are good and bad times.
Be grateful for the good
Learn from the bad.
I don't want to mess up.
Be cool and say I don't give a F**k.

Crucial Point

Walking down one road, heading down another.

When have we started to look down upon one another.

Standing back to back.

Defend from incoming attacks.

She's got your twelve, he has got your six.

One opportunity Make it count and don't miss.

The Dark Cloud Over my Head.

As walk the street alone.
I put my hand in my pocket and look at my phone.
No missed called or messages.
Yup, the usual damage.
Thinking that people are too busy to care.
Seeing people mingle everywhere.
What does this mean?
Should this be concerning me ?
Inside my thoughts are dark as the road.
A road with a dead end and no place to go.
I lean my back against the wall.
Looking at the contacts who do I want to call.
I try a few times.
Nothing but a dead line.
I get sad that no one is there.
yea but that's life. Its not really fair.
Even around people, I have nothing to say.
It's like I have subconsciously took a vow of silence.
or I have completely erased my presence.
That's when people want to know what is wrong with me.
For over two years I have not exactly been happy.
I've been struggling.
Dealing with my depression.
Dealing with society's rejection.
Dealing with the very thought of what I am.
After reading all of this, Can you Understand ?

Nightmares Part 2.

Another Night, Another Nightmare.
Another night I get really scared.
Those dark hands that have their on grip me.
Shaking  me violently as I sleep.
I'm running for my life through the fire.
Only to a gate that is covered in barbed wire.
Not seeing a way out. I keep on running.
It's only a matter of time, They are coming.
I look and yell around  for help.
There is no one there, I am all by myself.
The longer I stay there, I longer I start burn.
Burning Alive and Not knowing Why.
Demons are hunting me like a prize.
Why I am here?
Maybe because before I wanted to disappear.
Now I am down in the pit.
I should have held it together and listened.

My Nightmare Part 1

As I close my eyes for the night.
I shake a lot and wake up with a fright.
Did I just have nightmare?
The images I saw made me realize I was scared.
Destruction of a town with my own hands.
How could I have done this? I don't understand.
Hearing the laughter behind me I turn around.
Shadowy figure that talks with hissing sound.
Its all your faultssss. Everyone is Dead because of you.
Don't be afraid, you anger is just one of many tools.
Suffering, then resentment and finally Hatred.
These things have made you go far.
Now all that's left is to leave behind that caring heart.
I see that scenario in my head.
All those people dead.
Capable of doing something like this?
Why would I want to exist.

I'm Not all that bad, Just Sad.

I wonder why I never get any breaks.
Society waits for me to make a mistake.
It laughs in my face.
Telling me that here I have no place.
What did I do ?
Can you explain cause I have no clue.
I thought I was doing the right thing as a friend.
It wasn't enough, person just didn't understand.
Great
No love but plenty of hate.
Don't even have to do anything to make an enemy.
They are in plain sight, planning and waiting.
Maybe they are right.
I'm just too nice.
That was the way I was taught.
Choosing not to fight was the way I fought.
Fought through being neglected and rejection.
Doing my best to overcome this depression.
I don't need someone who just sees the bad.
I am only human
I'm not all that bad, just sad.