A Much Need Break

my mind needs a break from this work load.
Watching from a window,the river flows.
Breaking away from those negative feelings.
What is with all this constant thinking.
My thoughts can't always do the work.
That happen before and it got worse.
I reach out for the book that I need to read.
Reading the wise words that God left for me.
I wonder how is everyone doing?
No time to stand still got to keep moving.
I want my pain to go away, but it still there.
What am I doing wrong? its not really fair.
What is fair? What i am left with at the end of the day.
Realizing that I smile and I now say.
Thank you God for all you've done.
This day has only begun.
I look forward for what you have in store.
I will keep going until I am no more.
Writing is the treasure you have allow me to find.
To be generous to others and to be kind.
I am Content.
To write while making sense.
Being around people who see me for who I am.
That what you've given me Lord, I understand.
I am sorry for the things that I can not change.
Since that moment, nothing has been the same.
There times where I cannot find my hat.
I don't realize where I am at.
In your presence, I feel like I'm not worthy.
I hide my face and run away from destiny.
But then how could face the others.
To me they are like my brothers.
Supported in both good and bad times.
Not looking for a reason, saying this is mine.
Its for everyone and I will share.
That is called be considerate and yes that is fair.
 

After the storm

When you first meet me I am quiet and shy.
Even though I don't say much people wonder why.
At times, i see others having fun.
While I sit alone looking up at the sun.
Why should I be like everyone else?
I don't just stand around, I want to help.
Used to people calling me strange or weird.
Back then words like that brought out the tears.
Saying to myself what's wrong with me.
being different requires so much thinking.
Positive thinking brings out the best.
Talking about me, moving to the next.
If I stay behind, then I start to feel anger.
The warning sign in my head that reads, Danger.
Feeling the rush of the adrenalin.
At that point, I am not really going to listen.
Words are like swords, they cause wounds.
Wounds that are not going to heal any time soon.
My heart is pounding to the rhythm of a fast beat.
Got to control myself, allow my mind to be clean.
Betrayal reminds me of  former friends.
Its been one month now, they still don't understand.
Understand what term friendship means.
I was mad but now I want to be redeemed.
 It burns in my head but that fire has died down.
Tomorrow is a new day to smile not frown.
God leads me on this righteous path.
I yearn for peace within myself not wrath.

Talking about life

Sandy is talking, blowing away wires and trees.
God lets me know that she is no threat to me.
As long I have faith in myself and those who care.
Allows me to believe in my Lord , I know he is there.The wind blows but we know not where it comes from.
I don't underestimated it as it can harsh to some.
Thinking about life and what to look forward to.
I only desire peace in my life and to pull through.
At times I feel like I repeat myself.
If I do, then it is  the positive words that mostly help.
I pray that everyone is inside and safe.
Time to be cautious and to avoid making mistakes.
I can hear the howl of the strong breeze.
Still sick with the cold, and I don't have to sneeze.
That's a relief! In my room drinking green tea.
It my favorite drink to have when it gets depressing.
I don't go around to get green herbs or white rocks.
There are important things to get like food or socks.
Self- control is the way to go.
Will life get better? Only God knows.
Telling to me have Faith. Going for the gold.
That is the reward I get for not falling in the hole.

A quote from Bleach

"No man's life is worth more than another! If you're gonna put your life on the line, you do it as equals! I don't care if you're brothers, or master and apprentice, or whatever! You should only die for a guy who'd die for you! There's nothing honorable about throwing your life away as though it's nothing! That's just showing off like a kid!

Ikkaku Madarame 

A storm comes but I will still be Me.

The rain pours and the wind howls like a wild beast.
Dangerous to be out there in the street.
The wind tends to get faster and stronger.
Like depression.
Holding things in and it stays longer.
I don't want to feel hurt anymore.
I am afraid of what the future has in store.
At least God is there watching over me.
Showing me there are possibilities.
To overcome the darkness, I must have faith.
Anger, pain, and doubt I must erase.
Those things only exist to bring me down.
Is that why people say I walk with a frown.
Well then they shouldn't say things about me.
They don't know anything.
Why should they talk.
Kick rocks and take a walk.
Don't need your opinion on life.
Listening to that brought me closer to the knife.
One month has past and here I am.
Seeing people for what they truly are, Now I understand.
I meant nothing to them but I didn't think that way back.
Here i am now trying to survive on nothing but snacks.
I am content with that and that God keeps me alive.
I know one thing Unlike them he won't lie.
To me he is like a guide showing me the way.
Sandy is here now but tomorrow is another day.
I choose not to dwell on what they have done.
Believing that this is not the end.
There will be a day where I will have fun.
I must be patient it will not just come to me.
I look for the day where it will be just sunny.
 

The Nightmare.

I couldn't sleep at all last night.
All those nightmare gave me such a fright.
People losing hope and ending their lives.
At the funeral people crying and wondering why?
Why did they do it ? they ask themselves.
How come they never came and asked for help.
Where were you when they needed it.
All alone they were while you were taking pics.
Endless pictures of groups having Fun.
All they wanted was just one.
One friend to be there in their time of need.
Is that too much to ask, not asking you to feed.
Knowing how that feels to have no one physically there.
That's not entirely true, God does Care.
He is there when no one else is.
He created you and he wants you to exist.
A purpose for you to fulfill.
Have Faith in yourself, develop a strong will.

A Bad Time

Why of all things did I have to do.
To be the one to hurt you.
It been over a month now and its still hurts.
I write it down but the pain feels so much worse.
Can I ever get a good night sleep again.
Man oh man I wish someone would understand.
You left and needed some space.
Those memories of you are hard to erase.
I can't pretend like you didnt exist.
 I will be a silent as a fish.
I want peace in my life with the people that care.
I thought you did, that space feels like wasted air.
This isnt something that  I desired.
Like time in a hourglass it just expired.
Is this what people look for in a relationship.
a few good moment just not to feel lonely.
That is some bs, I consider someone other that me.
It makes me mad just thinking about it.
The pain and betrayal it doesnt make any sense.
I don't normal act that way.
It didnt matter what i had to say.
In the end you left.
You thought that was best.
I didnt stop you from making that choice.
Honestly all I did was abusing my voice.
Not handling my situation, Bad move.
Feeling new to everything like a noob.
Went to psyche ward to hand my problems.
Learn what i can do to solve them.
When I go out It didnt get any better.
You sided with them, and made me look a fool.
Now I know that all along I was just a tool.
Don't need all that crap.
That could make a motherf**ker snap.
I know that I could do my best.
This day was bad but what about  the next.
This poem is about a bad experience I had.
What had to bappen, really made me sad.
Going through all that nonsense.
It's a part of life, nothing make sense.
Right now I don't what to do.
God, what I need now is a breakthrough.
Please Lord, I ask for a woman who treats me right.
Someone I can look forward to talking to at night.
To have that feeling that someone has your back.
Feels good to have, I concur with this fact.