Feeling Good on a different day.

Today is a diffrent day, I feel good.
The past is behind me like it should.
Thanking God for the friends I have.
It actually feels good to able to laugh.
I don't need the negativity.
All it does it just give me anxiety.
Another trip to the hospital that I don't need.
Taking it slow, Feeling content with being me.
School is almost done.
Can't celebrate yet, I haven't won.
Knowing that the end is always hard.
Faith is my calling card.
Helping me to believe in myself.
Doing my own thing and knowing when to ask for help.
I am not a burden or a plague.
I walk around with a smile on my face.
Knowing that you can't take that away.
I don't need a person who declares judgement.
Unless it's God, Not looking for punishment.
I had up to here with people's misunderstandings.
Can't agree with what you are saying.
Do you even know who Iam.
What I've been through, Can you understand.?
I am not the only one in the world with problems.
I am taking the time to solve them.
Praying that I will achieve my goals.
I am going to stick with what I know.
That is the way I've been since the start.
Holding myself to not break apart.
It took me a while to get here.
I choose kindness and consideration over fear.

And I thought I was Bad_wtf

I look around, I see a sea of beauty.
I walk towards it and it flees from me.
Why does happen majority of the time.
Is there something about me, but I'm kind.
Kind to females and willing to listen.
I don't have some kind of hidden intention.
I want to be friends but they run away.
Man, it sucks at time, ruins my day.
There ain't no point in looking around.
I hear how these other guys sound.
Lusting with the look in their eyes.
I don't understand how women can be with these guys.
Will I be alone, Yea mostly for a while.
Where is there a girl who can make me smile.
Done with all that looking.
Taking my chances with God, he knows what I am feeling.
I was told I was selfless about my actions towards others.
Helping out one another.
That is my goal in life.
One day, I will have a house,children and a loving wife.
Another goal I aim to reach.
I am here to listen and God is here to teach.

What I am Suppose To do ?

I am sinking fast, gasping for air.
Sinking to the bottom, is anyone there.
Two months have gone by, still can't sleep.
No desire to do anything, not even eat.
It's like I am slowly killing myself as the days go by.
I don't know what is going on inside my head.
Those dreamless nights keep me from feeling refreshed.
I tell myself, I have to accept it and be strong.
For a moment I feel like myself, then it's all gone.
The question that I ask myself each day, Why I am here.
Why are people afraid when they see me get near.
What am I doing that pushes them away.
I keep my silence, Literally the whole day.
Not talking doesn't banish those thoughts.
I am not treating myself like a victim, I know what I did wrong.
Going to school or going out.
I have to pass that house.
Do I want to? No, I wish it didn't exist.
I walk past it like it doesn't bother me at all.
Honestly, who do I even call.
I am emotional, I can't deny that.
However, It's not worth another panic attack.
I really wish I knew what to do.
I don't know if I can make it through.
It is really hard holding myself together.
Fear surrounds me,getting scared of the others.
How am I suppose to move forward?
Sitting in this room will not get me any closer.

Looking up and not Giving up

At night time if it is clear out, I can see stars.
Even though they are small, their reach is really far.
I've wondered at times, what does being up there feel like.
It's like taking a rocket to the moon to take a hike.
That may sound silly but then again, It's me writing.
Writing is my cure.
When I write I sound pretty sure.
Don't want to write about the bad.
Thinking about only gets me sad.
Where are the memories that allows me to laugh.
I wish my memory was useful in math.
All those numbers and formulas, sounds so complex.
Driving my brain insane, a real pain in the neck.
I need to get to the IT stuff.
School isn't easy, at times it can get rough.
Not giving up hope and have plenty of patience.
I know by not giving up, I will make it.
Getting all the important stuff done.
At long last, the victory is won.

There is Still time.

I am so jittery right now, why am I so nervous?
Trying to keep calm but I feel so anxious.
Messing up a lot  and embarrassing my self.
I wish I could just fade away till nothing is left.
In math, I do not know what to do next.
God, I ask can you hear you me now.
Rebuke it Lord, all this fear and doubt.
I know that it will be ok, I'm beginning to understand.
It was you put the pen in my hand.
Giving me the ability to write.
Writing a few that take up the entire night.
After all that I am stuck on writer's block.
Writing like a fiend, man I gotta know when to stop.
School is important, too important to fail.
Don't want to get an F in the mail.
I know now what I must do.
Get off my ass and do well in school.
Life is too short and I can't always feel down.
It is cloudy now but,
The sun always seems to come around.
That is what I look forward to.
Doing something new.
Expanding what I know.
Telling the devil No!
There is somewhere I would rather go.
Back Home to the country.
Sunny, warm, and plenty to eat.
I am not going to change or aiming to please.
There is nothing wrong with me.
Words and actions can make me feel hurt.
Pretend to care only makes it worse.
I stand tall, no one is my crutch.
Depending on people like that is messed up.
As life goes on so shall I.
Time to wake up and see the world with my own eyes.

End of Year, Realizing What is important.

I like to say that this year has taught me something.
Take nothing for granted, you'll never what time will bring.
As the year come to a close, I only have one request.
To get better before deciding what to do next.
I am glad to have come back to school.
Instead of doing nothing, I used my resources as tool.
Learning about things I didn't know before.
The next step happens as soon as I open the door.
Meeting People and getting the chance to socialize.
Sticking with real people who don't bother to lie.
A lot people here though don't seem to care.
As I walk by, why is it that they look up and stare?
I just breeze past them like a silent wind.
I am what I am, My name is Jin.
Although that is something I just call myself.
I stuck with that name and offered my help.
To people out there, I know it is hard.
Losing everything, breaking down and falling apart.
In the end, The sun will always shine.
Where there is bad, there are also good times.

Writing about Love.

Hoping to meet someone special in my life.
Someone I can talk to during the night.
Being patient about it, looking for her.
I would not trade one for the other.
She is not mine to keep all to myself.
She isn't just trophy lying on a shelf.
Considering her important and she does the same.
One thing is clear, I'm not here for games.
A person is unique in their own kind of way.
That one person can just brighten up the day.
Writing about love and at times I feel alone.
Depression smothers me and hope is gone.
If I have problem, I am going to solve them.
To change from the way I was back then.
I will show you myself, no tricks just me.
Looking at you and stunned by your beauty.
I look away fast, feeling shy.
Forgot what I was going to say, Oh why?
I ask myself," What is wrong"
In time I guess, I will be strong.
Faith is what holds me together.
Any time, any place, in any kind of weather.

Love is something worth waiting for.

I asked myself " What does love mean to me?"
I thought about it and said consideration for one's feelings.
It in involves knowing a person and trusting them as well.
Without these key elements, It could turn into hell.
Bringing up past events will only keep her away.
It is things like that can ruin a beautiful day.
Walking inside and seeing her smile.
Sitting with her enjoying the view for a while.
These things I hope that can happen later in life.
Meeting someone special and hopefully ask her to be my wife.
I will not rush or hide who I am.
Being content with myself, to listen and understand.
Learning from mistakes proves to be helpful.
I know I am not perfect but I am grateful.
God has brought me here to you.
With his Guidance, he has shown me what to do.
Loving you as a whole and not just one particular part.
God created us and you are a wonderful work of art.
When I write, Love turns into a rhyme.
Honestly I would just write about her all the time.
She makes me feel a certain way and I can't shake it.
Meeting her on that day, I wasn't mistaken.
Until that day comes, I will continue to have hope.
Faith for the future, Writing helps me to cope.
I don't believe that I will always be alone.
There is hope until God calls me home.

Calling the Shots

I got a cellphone but not many people call.
Is there anyone willing to at all.
I look at my contacts and then I hesitate.
Closing the phone up, not knowing what to say.
People around me tell me at least you are free.
They can say that but they are not me.
How can I be free and yet feel so empty.
That void that refuses to close.
Collapsing on myself, becoming a Ghost.
Wanting the pain to stop.
Terrible memories are stubborn as rocks.
Sometimes I write and other times I cry.
Seeing myself losing and about to die.
I know that time will come.
As far as problems go, I am not the only one.
Only God knows when.
Until that Time, for me it is not the end.
Friends are the gifts that God sends.
To allow my broken mind to mend.
I am going around and getting upset over what.
I lost someone I care about, wanted to give up
Telling myself, doing that is not really worth it.
Picking myself up. I have taken enough hits.
Wanting good times with people to spend it with.
Who knows, maybe my life might take a little spin.
I have to have faith in 3 things.
God, myself and whatever the future brings.
Still I have hope to meet that special person one day.
For now I, will write poems and continue to pray.

Going to School.

Walking down the street comes this guy.
He is respected where he lives and always hi.
Going around he reaches the bus stop.
He is relieve to catch the bus, Thank God.
On his way to school, its going to be a busy day.
I know this day will be good is what I say.
Got a test in my computer class.
I think I am doing fine in everything except math.
The teacher doesn't really explain it all.
 The work looks like hieroglyphs on a wall.
Last class of the day and it Spanish.
Learning and understanding, I am almost finished.
I am glad that God has help me understand.
Even when I am not all home, I am what I am.

Little Poem about the future.

Dreaming about the future, who know what it could be.
It like a christmas present and I am not allow to peek.
Just realize that it is coming soon.
I hope I have other plans than to stay in my room.
I been doing that for like the past 3 months.
It's like being on ship that is has began to sunk.
Having a plan on what to do, help to prepare.
Preparing myself before going out there.
I am looking at myself in the mirror.
Asking myself could I be any clearer.
I will not change because people want me to.
Staying who I am is the right thing to do.

Chapter 3: The temple in the Hills

Previously...

A traveler from a far away land. A strange red-eyed creature that shares a bond with the traveler. A enemy who seeks revenge. What does it all mean? Hmm Well let the story continue.

Deep in the middle of the forest is a temple that is nested high on a hilltop. The monk and his apprentice help the young man Jin to recover. After a few days on resting and bitter medication Jin awakes to the sound of a waterfall. "Good morning" says the monk How are you feeling young man. Jin holds his head and says I feel wobbly. The monk laughs heartily and tells him just the medicine taking effect. His apprentice gives the hungry traveler some food which he gladly accepts. Jin shows his thanks toward to monk and tell him that he is Jin, a warrior from Zera. The monk tells Jin that he is the Master of the temple and that he and his apprentice was waiting for someone when they found him. Jin wonders who were they waiting for but he decides not to ask. The master monk then asked "what was he doing out there in the wastelands?"

Jin explain that he was investigating the egg that fell from the sky and that when got there he found the red-eyed creature. After he found Red-Eyes, He wander down the mountain but was followed by a knight known as Dark Blade. The Master tells Jin that he has heard stories about the knight and that he possesses the power to manipulate dragons. Suddenly Jin panics and askes the Master if has seen Red-Eyes? He replies no and Jin frantically searches the temple for it. He shouts at the sky and blames himself for losing Red-Eyes.

The winds picks up and a girl on top of giant bird appears as to answer the call. Jin shouts at the girl demanding to know who she is. The wind hits Jin hard as he blows far only for the Master to save him from falling to his death. My My says Master Monk, that is no way to treat a guest. The girl bows to master and that she only attack him to defend herself. I am Caam says the girl and I've come to seek your assistance Master Monk.

Chapter 2: A new enemy appears

Previously...
An egg falls from the sky. What does it mean? Falls where the lava flows heavily. There it will stay until a curious traveler who wanders off into the volcanic region. There he finds an egg nested in the midst of the fiery ocean. He comes face to face with the guardian only to be saved by a mysterious light. He is accompanied by a strange creature that seems to have bonded with the traveler. The traveler makes his way down the mountain to seeks answers.

It near sunset at the base of the mountain the traveler is being followed by the strange creature. Confused, the traveler tries to communicate with the creature but the creature just stares back with its' red-eyes.
So they continue to walk until they come across a well. Thirsty, the traveler takes the bucket and fills up  water and drinks until he can't drink anymore. He then notices that creature is nudging at his leg. So the traveler decides to give the creature some water thinking that it might by thirsty as well. It enjoys the water and the traveler smiles at it. He names the creature "Red-Eyes" because of the fierce gaze it gives.

Their moment of peace is cut short by the sound of approaching footsteps. Turning around with his sword, the traveler blocks the enemy's deadly blow. "So it's you" says the traveler. The enemy gets up and reveals himself. I am Dark Blade,

I been looking for you Jin, the warrior from Zera. So much for low profile says Jin and decides to attack Dark Blade. Dark blade parries the blow easily and knocks the sword away. Foolish to attack me head on, you are not ready to challenge me yet" says Dark Blade. As Dark Blade proceeds to finish off Jin,

A blast of tremendous energy hits Dark Blade in the back. Jin weakly lifts up his head and sees a large black shadow . Not taking any chances, Dark Blade vanishes without a trace seeking revenge on the warrior of zera. Due to exhaustion from the battle Jin passes out.

As the traveler lays on the ground, a monk and his apprentice are passing through when they see the body. Quickly they take Jin back with them to their temple to help him recover.

Chapter One: The Dragon Egg.

Once a upon a time  a dragon egg fell out of the sky. It landed in a volcanic region where it lay dormant. At the same time a curious traveler decides to investigate the mystery of the egg. As carefully as he walks he notices that ground in this region is very unstable. At first he begins to regret this seeing all the lava around him. Gathering his courage he continues his journey to find the egg. At last he comes to a crater where the egg is nesting surrounded by fiery ocean of lava. He finds this to be an impossible task and begins to turn back. Suddenly the ground shakes violently, the sky darkens and a loud roar can be heard. Out of lava rises the guardian of the egg, his roar pierces the air around him as rocks turn to dust. The traveler knows what the monster is called" Ultimate Obedient Fiend".

As he is faced with this horrible monstrosity, a light shines all around the traveler blinding the creature. The creatures retreats to his domain, the traveler blacks out. As the sun rises over the fiery wasteland, the traveler wakes to creature standing over him. Terrified he backs away and tries to run only to see that there is nowhere to run. The small creature approaches him and hugs his leg. Confused, he looks around and sees the remains of an egg shell. He comes to the conclusion that this creature must have been inside the egg.

Walking down the mountain with the strange red-eyed black scaled creature,

 the traveler seeks to find answers as to what this creature is and why did it choose him.

A Wolf's Tale

I am a wolf who is hunting alone.
Following a scent that leads me into the unknown.
I was curious and got separated from my pack.
Feeling hungry, I was looking for a quick snack.
Unfamiliar with the territory around me.
Was I suppose to be alone? Is this my destiny?
I look out for myself so that I may survive.
This scent I have been following, I hope it's worth the prize.
 Until I come to a cliff and I see what it is.
In this bushes I see them, a mother and two kids.
They seem lost away from their home.
Making a choice, I show them which way to go.
Seeing the humans together reminds me of my kind.
I should track them soon, I hope they aren't hard to find.
Stumbling on creek, drink the cool water quenches my thirst.
Stomach is growling so much that it hurts.
Fate provides me a meal, without hesitation I take it.
Howling at the moon , God I am grateful.
I know that one day I will find a mate.
Leading my own pack maybe one day.
The journey continues not giving in.
Doesn't matter how long it takes, I will run or swim.
Not everything works out the way it suppose to be.
The weather may change, but in the end I will still be me.

Truth and time.

Everyday is a new day to learn something new.
Sometimes it may have been something you never knew.
Once the truth is out, how does one react?
Knowing it happened and accepting the fact.
From my own experience, hearing the truth hurts.
I may not want to hear but denying it is worse.
Stumbling and falling as I walk.
Feeling uneasy, I would really like to talk.
What I like to do is to help out others.
Talking can help this journey be a little easier.
It makes feels better when I do the right thing.
The past that haunts me isn't something I want to bring.
In the future ahead, I pray for better days.
To be myself again and to know what to say.
I keep all that negative stuff behind me.
To go forward and face my destiny.
Finding someone who sees me and cares.
Not giving some awkward stare.
That is what I dream of, what I hope for.
Content and myself, nothing more.

I am Human.

I have feelings like everyone else.
Living in a room, all by myself.
I have no problem with facing the fact.
That at times I do get stuck in the past.
It make me feels like I don't do anything.
What have I done and what does it mean?
My anger can make me look like a fool.
Who lets little things make him lose his cool.
Coming to agreement with people is hard.
Especially when it come to life, it can rip you apart.
I have to hold on though it is tough.
Walking on a road that is smooth then rough.
Rough times, what comes from that is a lesson.
At times I ask myself, am I being tested?
Anxiety can cause me to crumble real quick.
Mind falls apart and my body feels like s**t.
Going to hospital to hear my blood pressure high.
Learning how to calm down and make things right.
Taking meds and expressing my thoughts in poetry.
Remembering the days when I climbed trees.
I miss that a lot, whatever happen to that kid.
It"s like I played hide and seek with myself and just hid.
Stay for years in a layers of a thick shell.
Here I am scared of the world, What the hell?
Afraid to know anyone and how they would react.
Not eating right but can sure load up on snacks.
Not able to sleep or being able to dream.
Will this pain go away? Will I be free.
Time waits for no one so let see what happens.
I pray for a positive reaction.
I don't need to alone anymore.
Been there, In life there is so much more in store.
Waiting as seconds go by.
Doing something positive is better than wasting time.

Getting Fed Up

I am sitting down in a room, just thinking.
I don't even move and I'm not blinking.
Those terrible words echo inside my head.
It's all about me, Hearing that makes me feel dead.
Like what the hell have I been doing with my life.
I don't want to bottle up all the stress till I die.
I thought I was doing right by helping others.
Going out of my way, looking out for one another.
Those people are just like me, Human Beings.
They can talk, but they don't even know me.
Leaving the hospital to experience the real world.
Those few weeks the pain was so intense, I wanted to hurl.
Reminding myself that I still have work and school.
The people left standing, still think I am cool.
At least that enough to bring a smile to face.
Why can't the smile last ? Why does it have to fade.
I notice that I hardly ever smile at all.
Can I pick myself after talking that hard fall.
I was never better than the next man.
I didn't prepare myself nor did I have plan.
My faith, I was really losing it.
Like death touched me with a kiss.
No! I will not fade away.
Today might bad but tomorrow is another day.
Who are they to tell me what I am.
Damn it, I have God and my Faith,
That is what I have that makes me
A MAN!

A Dream

Love is being faithful.
Love is the light that shines.
Times when able, I can be helpful.
When I write, Love flows into the rhyme.
There are times when darkness comes around.
Creeping behind me without making a sound.
Suddenly a light comes to life, shining brighter than the sun.
Darkness had no chance, Love has won.
Seeing me on the ground, it touched my face.
Getting really nervous, my heart began to race.
Love has smile at me, telling me to be not be afraid.
Don't not get pulled down by the mistakes that you have made.
God will forgive you and you will meet someone special.
Could I believe those words?  I believe so.
Having faith in myself  to achieve my goal.
It was God who saved me from that hole.
I cannot wait, when will I meet her?
"One day"  Love replied, "now get out of the dirt."
Shaking the dust from my shirt and pants.
Suddenly my legs move and I am able to dance.
Feeling joy like a cheerful boy.
Now as a man, I begin to understand.
Love was telling me to not give up hope.
That's True.
Keeping myself motivated with writing helps me cope.
I am going to continue forward, good or bad.
If I am alone, I will not be sad.
Don't concern yourself with everyone else.
Letting everything get to me feels like hell.
When I'm myself, having feelings for someone.
I will wait, Don't want to ruin it for them.
Consider her feelings, it's not time yet.
I need to be careful on what to do next.
I don't want to hurt anyone,including myself.

Seasons Change.

The leaves fall from the tree.
Cloudy outside, wind makes it really breezy.
Time to put on a hood or jacket.
Black Friday comes around, always a racket.
This year has come to a close.
What will the next year bring? Who knows.
I am looking forward to the spring.
Everything starts fresh.
Don't know what to do next.
Have to prepare myself.
Guiding me, the lord does give me help.
Can't wait for the the summer.
Unlike last time it won't be a bummer.
Running into that special someone that I will meet.
It could be days from now or maybe next week.
I am looking  forward to sharing these emotions.
Love and care put it into motion.
Coming back to me now are the good times.
I will write it down on these blue lines.
Writing is something that I believe is a gift.
Given to me from above, Without question, I accept it.

Short One-Having Faith in myself

What ever happen to going outside.
To commercials that warned about getting high.
Feeling young and just playing around.
All these bad influence are just bad sounds.
Getting to fights because someone said something.
Didn't make much sense, I'm just saying.
We didn't have many good role models.
Honestly, who reads about Herodotus, Plato, or Aristotle.
Where is the world heading?
There is no rush, Just be steady.
Be aware of what is out there and make the right choice.
There is nothing wrong with my voice.
I walk with dignity and no doubt in my step.
When problems come up, it best to have a cool head.
Survivor of depression, overcoming my fears.
Being able to talk about my past without shedding tears.
As I walk down the road, I see people who need help.
I only can help if i am able to, but I have to help myself.
It allows me to be the man I can be.
I don't like being alone all the time. I want to be part of the team.

Fond Memories: Smash Bros.

In the year 1999, a certain game hit the stores.
It was four player fighting game for the N64.
I got this game as a birthday present.
To tell you one thing, I will never regret this.
Nintendo characters going at it.
Mario with a Hammer, DK with his fists.
Yoshi throwing eggs and Kirby doing a split.
In this game, You can be on a team.
They gave me Fox, against Mario and Luigi.
This game is crazy so much you can do.
Heading to saffron city to fight Pikachu.
Smashing Targets and Boarding platforms.
Getting back after getting smashed from the board.
Link has so many freakin projectiles.
Fox reflects everything, bomb blows me away for miles.
Samus is tricky especially her screw attack.
Moving out of the way to avoid the dumb blast.
Lava totally sends Samus on her way.
I taunt as she flies high. Have a nice day.
I find myself facing my clone.
Metal Mario is really stubborn like a stone.
With the help of barrel, he falls all the way down.
Polygon Team is bullshit, teaming up and smacking me around.
At last I finally reach the end.
Just to face this motherF**ker, Master Hand.
Shooting me with missles, Pimp slaps, and Rockets.
What the hell is this. I just want to pull the plug outta the socket.
I keep going kick the crap out of this thing.
Finishing him off with the coin punch, Bling bling.
The credits roll and I thought I was done.
New Character appears, Oh what fun.
Another pokemon that likes putting me to sleep.
With my random combos, B**th get off the screen.
Oh man, those were the days.
Damn it, where is that controller now I want to play

Getting Up

Wanting to change for myself.
Asking for God's help.
On how can I talk to the others.
They stare and I stare back and wonder.
What's with that look?
Shrugging it off, Wanting to read a book.
To get away from ignorance, I go to the library.
Surrrounded by knowledge, reading helps me.
Why do I let doubt take it's toll.
Feeling like I will fail is like taking the fall.
I live for each day.
As long as I breathe, I will continue to pray.
Not caring about what those people think.
They are gone the second I blink.
There are more important things that matter.
Talking about other people is useless chatter.
Climbing up the ladder towards my destiny.
Before I start anything else, Let it begin with me.
Passing school and working hard.
Holding it all together to not fall apart.
From afar I can see faces smiling.
Today is a good day, I can see the sun shining.

Knowing What I feel.

Watching the hourglass

Sitting in my class.

Thoughts swirl in my head.

Telling me I am better off dead.

Not going to give in to that.
I am going to live and not feel like crap.
To be alive each day, I thank God.
Giving me advice on what to do right on the spot.
I am truly thankfully for being alive.
Even though sometimes I wonder why.
Going through a lot, I see myself as a survivor.
Getting through it all, all the pain and the hurt.

Got that lonely feeling again.

What is it that I am unable to understand.

Am I afraid to be alone?

To be close to someone fearing that they might go.

I hear all the time, if it happens then it was meant to.

Enduring with all my patience these hard times.

Finding really hard to walk without using my eyes.

I don't like being in that room full of despair.

My eyes are getting bad, I need a new pair.

Showing up to my classes each day.

I tell me myself , I should pray.

Asking to be forgiven for the things I did.
Don't want rush and do something stupid.

At the end, I know what I need.

Being myself content and without greed.

In time, Something Good will happen

Waiting for someone to come to you.
Does it really work? putting effort into.
Believing in yourself and starting to talk.
I get too shy as I begin to turn around and walk.
Having someone there and then they're gone.
Really don't being alone.
I am in no rush.
Not going to quit, can't give up.
As I walk I see lots of relationships.
Damn, why do I feel like shit.
I look at myself and say why.
Falling to the floor, looking up at the sky.
Knowing it's not the end yet, asking for a chance.
Maybe one day I could actually learn how to dance.
Dancing with someone who I'm dedicated to loving.
Who doesn't mind hugging.
Is there someone there Lord?
Will I finally be able to go through the door.
To meet someone and have a conversation.
I have to endure the long waiting.
It take time but I know It will.
Keeping calm and remotely still.
I will not allow these things to bring me down.
Honestly, who likes seeing people frown.
I am still here and I am glad.
Glad to be alive and not sad.
Each day is gift.
Taking each day for what it comes with.

Out of the Dark.

Walking alone in the dark.
Monsters lying in wait, wanting to rip you apart.
Enemies plotting against me.
Going around, losing everything.
Where to go, what to do.
I need guidance because I have no clue.
Sitting in alone in the damn room.
Need to leave that all behind me.
Planning with precise timing.
At the end of the day my plan is set.
Praying on what to do next.
The future waits for no one at all.
Taking action is benefical than a fall.
When I fall down, time to get up.
No need to get mad and erupt.
I calm myself down with memories.
Memories that are filled with positivity
Respecting the distance between me and them.
I want no more problems with them again.
That time is over. but I was still be the same.
Some habits I need to break and to make a change.
Life goes on and I can't just sit back.
Doing that will that just leave me in the past.

What goes on in my head 8

Going back and forth with these issues.
Crying so much, needing a tissue.
Wondering why people walk away from her.
This guy prefers that girl over the other.
It's messed on how people view themselves.
Thinking that they alone in this hell.
Feeling like no one will come.
It would be better to talk to someone.
Someone with a positive spirit.
Who has been there and has taken their share of hits.
Holding out a hand for you to reach.
Life is something that to be felt not teached.
Talking to someone that understands.
Telling you not to quit, knowing that you can.
You can make it, but it's not easy.
 before the drop, stomach gets queasy.
You'll be allright, that feeling doesn't last long.
Think about what you are doing before you get it wrong.
At the end of the day, looking in the mirror and its you.
Telling yourself that is not what I not do.
Listening to people who just talk crap.
Letting it get to you so you can just snap.
Nope, not worth it at the end of the day.
What is worth time is that I do pray.
Praying for myself to feel good again.
Smiling from above, taking the time to understand.
What it means to be a Man.
What it mean to have a body and mind.
Unified together to become someone who's kind.

Ghost Remembers

Along comes ghost, He is floating alone.

He is longer living, his body is gone.

Wandering the streets fading through walls.

Trusted people with his life, that was downfall.

Lonely and nowhere to go.

Floating by a theatre, he watches a show.

Its about a family living in a wooden shed.

Trying to survive and not end up dead.

Colds wind and wild animals lurking around.

The family is quiet not making any sound.

They stay together even through the toughest times.

Gentleness in their eyes, Hearts are warm and kind.

The ghost starts to smile a bit.

Even though no one can see him, he can't help it.

The sight of a family eases his pain.

He remembers back then when things were plain.
Would do anything for his brothers.
He was their provider, They had no father or mother.
He loved them and they loved him.
The ghost leaves the theater to go find them.
He finds them waiting for him at the gate.
God looks at him and forgives for his mistakes.
Holding themselves together and their sanity.
They go together as a family.

I have Hope for the future

Looking for someone to love in this world.
Although there are many, I am only looking for one girl.
One Girl to consider, Only her and me.
Someone that I am suppose to meet.
Meeting her will be a part of my destiny.
I will not rush but I will have patience.
Feelings are important, not meant for wasting.
A seed recieves nourishment to help it grow.
When the plant begins to bloom, that's when I'll know.
It will take time, Love doesn't just happen overnight.
Lusting after a woman isn't right.
Both people who can accept another.
Being content with loving each other.
That is the way I was though.
I don't want your love if it has to be bought.
To treat women with respect, consider the feelings.
To know love's true meaning.
I am willing to find it.
Hidden like a diamond.
Precious and unique.
That is what she'll mean to me.
I am not perfect, but I am a man.
A man who wants to understand.
What makes you so special?
That day that I met you wasn't regretful.
Considering that its not about looks.
About you, I would write a book.
I do work but I am not rich.
If I were to be upset, I will not be calling you a b***ch.
My Oath is not never lay my hand on a female.
I have my flaws as they do as well.
Going forth in my life It has shown me what I can do.
To be there for you and knowing that you will too.

Realizing it not hopeless- short one

I came this far in life to not turn back now.

To express kindness and consideration, not doubt.

Back then I would refer to myself as a Ghost.

Peace in my life is what I would like the most.

The devil seeks to destroy all that is good.

Coming from the shadows, covering in himself with a hood.

Remembering that I can go forward in life.

Not going to end it all with a knife.

Coming to terms with what I've done.

Accepting it, Now I can move on.

As Long As I know.

The past is behind me, there it will stay.
When it is cloudy, still have time to pray.
Having faith when there is nothing left.
Holding it together until it is time to rest.
A smile can make the day brighter.
I was low but now I aim higher.
For there is good, here in this place.
Helping someone out brings a smile to my face.
I will not allow my past to haunt me.
If I do , this story will end badly.
Taking a bad day and turning into something good.
Can't always say If only if I could.
Make excuses make people leave.
Approaching a squirrel, it jumps into the tree.
Hearing a voice telling that I shouldn't worry.
There is no need to rush or to hurry.
Although time runs short, there is a chance.
I can repent for my sins and act as a man.
I only live once, I will make it worth while.
Remebering those good times make me smile.
Those memories will carry me on days like this.
To be able to wake up and walk each day is a gift.
It does take time overcome a problem.
Knowing that God is there to help me solve them.
As long I know that.
No need to fear any attack.
Talking with others just being myself.
When in doubt, just ask for help.

Writing.

Writing during anytime of day.
I stay quiet thinking on what to say.
Most of the time I do repeat myself.
Getting writer's block, can't write nothing else.
To tell you the truth, I don't know where this come from.
Out of the blue, it comes out like a song.
I sound like a completely different man.
Writing out material that people can understand.
Going out there wonder what to do next.
Before I give myself a headache, let me get some rest.
Worrying about things really doesn't help.
Let me worry about taking care of my health.
Its not good to be always down.
Something good will come around.
I have hope that one day I can smile.
To have a smile that last a while.
Having fun with friends.
To live my life until the end.
I will keep writing to that day.
All that is left is to pray.
I will put all these poems in a book.
Hoping that the people will look.
I need to give my book a name.
"Smiling in the Rain".

Suicide- what it means to me

Killing yourself, Does it make sense?
Keeping it in, the pain worsens.
Reaching out for someone to help you.
Not all the time there is good news.
At a time like this, what do you do?
Go to the bathroom to take a few bayer.
or
Going to room to say a prayer.
The pain will not go right away.
Hoping for something good to happen the next day.
Not everyone is the same.
I am not talking about some game.
This is my life.
Asking myself, 
Do I really want to die?
The answer is....
NO!
Hell isn't a place I want to go.
I know there is somewhere I belong.
For someone like me who has done wrong.
Carrying around that bag of s**t.
I don't deserve my life, but I am grateful for it.
Leaving it right there on the doorstep.
Got to think, What am I going to do next?
Walk and find my my own path.
Searching for peace and not to feel like crap.

I will be OK

I tell myself no I will not go.
I do have a purpose that is unknown.
All this negativity clouds my mind.
Telling me that i hurt others instead of being kind.
I know that isn't true, I wasn't raised that way.
Thanking God for being alive today.
Where there is good, there's also evil.
It hits me hard when I am alone.
It hurts a lot, I pray for it to be gone.
Thinking and thinking on what to do.
If it were happening to you.
Would you run away forever?
or
Stand your ground telling that snake
"Never".
It rights there, I know I can feel it
Potential.
To be able to great things.
Not for the attention,
I would do it because it is right.
Not backing down, hold my head up and fight.
Even though I am alone physically.
People have hurt me Verbally.
I still have to hold together mentally.
This will not last long.
As long as I listen to the right song.
Letting me know that it will get better.
The world is cold. let me grab a sweater.
It better to think then to act reckless.
Doing the right thing for myself.
That makes sense.

Fond Memories: Mortal Kombat

Going back in time to the year 1994.
It was a good time and more.
I started to play a game called Mortal Kombat.
This game was my dad's so I had to ask.
Rapid punching, being frozen in place.
Hearing Get Over Here, Uppercut to the face
Going from the temple to the grounds outside.
Making your ass fall with Sub-Zero's slide.
After getting past Kano, next is Liu Kang.
His flying kick hits me in the face with a bang.
I get back up after taking the fall.
Doing Johnny cage's split punch to balls.
This game is amazing and yet why I am losing.
Raiden teleporting, and zapping me with electricity.
Knocking into the pit at the bottom the screen.
Man that sucks but I'm get ya back.
Sonya with that leg drop, necks snaps.
Getting mad and throwing my controller.
This game is one bad motherf**ker.
Halfway through the game I run into this guy.
He is fast as hell and throws spears and ice.
Wearing all green and having no name.
Even making easy its all the same.
I still get my ass kicked every time.
But I make my comeback with Raiden.
I give them no chance,hey I gotta win.
Until I run into Goro jumping in the air.
Can't use projectile, this guy is not even fair.
Beating him was hard and now its Shang Tsung.
Being able to morph into anyone is dumb.
At last with one Uppercut I am the champion.
All that time I was doing nothing but ranting.
No more I beat the game it was really itch.
Those were those good old days wasn't it.

Good to remember

A good day is when the sun shining in the sky.
When I look outside, no reason to ask why.
Knowing as  I walk that everything will be ok.
Praying to God for safety and a good day.
The devil takes hits at me for a while.
I hold myself together will faith
You will not take away my smile.
Hooking up the system to play some games.
Remember the good times back in the day.
Playing with the kids from down the block.
We were outside, whether it was cold or hot.
Playing Halo or sneaking off to Gamestop.
We didn't care, we had fun.
At the time, I knew that I could run.
Running away from my problems.
But I no longer do that, instead I solve them.
Although there is one problem I want to solve.
To have someone there when I fall.
I keep praying for someone like to come into my life.
Old snake keeps pointing me in the direction of the knife.
No that isn't the road that I will take.
Going forward in life not repeating my mistakes.
I believe in myself and I do have faith.

How My day went

Hmm, what to write about.
How about about what is going on now.
Just went through two storms one after the other.
In times like this, we should be helping one another.
After two weeks, Finally the neighborhood got the power back.
Man, I am so going to load up with snacks.
Chips and Arizona Green teas.
I gotta find something healthy to eat.
Winter is coming and this year is about to end.
Even though, There are some things that I don't understand.
I don't know what to expect, but I can't just sit and wait.
Getting prepared to go outside and through the gate.
Walking in the street with house on each side.
Everyday is new day,  maybe there will be a suprise.
I was glad though that I saw my family.
Even though I don't see them like that, They mean a lot to me.
I pray that every family that live through this is safe.
I remember not to think only of myself, that would be a mistake.
Not the only one in the world with problems.
God shows me the way to solve them.
Faith in myself and a clear mind.
To pass through the darkness with thoughts that are kind.
In the end I know I can't save everyone.
I accept that truth.
I stand firmly and say " I will not run"
"I will face the fear that lies inside my heart".
It will not consume me nor tear me apart.
For God is with me here and now.
Helping me through troubled times and tells me not to doubt.

Fond Memories: Yu-gi-oh

I remember in High school playing Yu-Gi-Oh.
When the bell rang, I knew it was time to go.
Bust out them cards, Like blue eyes or Dark Magician.
Back then those cards got all the attention.
Until they came out with Dark Magician Girl.
That card wanted by every duelist in the world.
I never got that card until 10yrs later.
When everyone had it I wasn't a hater.
I just played casual with what I had.
Losing to fag beasts Usually gets me mad.
Stupid monster that attacks then goes back to the deck.
Got me yelling" What the heck"
So Cheap that deck was.
Over time against that deck I held a grudge.
But I learn more as the time went by.
My favorite of the dragons is Red- eyes..
To me he looks like Ridley from Metroid.
I rather use a deck not beefed up on steroids.
Exodia is no longer fun anymore.
You already know whats in store
You lose on the first turn, thats it
Getting me heated, You son of bitch.
OTKs are really gay.
Nothing more to say.
The game has change since I've been in high school.
To me back then game was cool.
To this day I still play the game.
To play something different, I won't change.
This game helped me to make friends.
I will play this game until then the end.
It feels like only yesterday when I just started.
To tell me that the game is bad, I'll say
"You are retarded"
I don't care, It's something I like to do.
Would you like if I said
Why are you playing that? to you.

In the end, the sun will shine.

In the end the sun will always shine.
I believe in that almost every time.
When I lose hope, I start to pray.
God, please allow today to be a good day.
I don't want to be sad anymore.
Finding something to write about instead of being bored.
I know that I am not alone.
God is here.
When I walk down the road, I shall have no fear.
No one will take away my smile.
It really has been a while.
I smile for what lies ahead.
Having peanut butter with some bread.
Dreams don't end, only if I give up.
Focusing on what I need to.
Knowing that I need to change for me not you.
Not giving into temption.
Not looking for any attention.
I may not have many friends.
Just need a few that understand.
What it means to be there for one another.
They mean that much to me like brothers.
Playing games and cards.
Having a bond unable to break apart.
When I tell my story, please understand me.
It's so that I don't live in that nightmare, not for pity.
People who think that, I cannot stand.
Standing up to them without violence proves I am a man.

Fond Memories: Arcades

Back in the day at the arcade.
That is where history was made.
Playing Mario Bros, or Mortal Kombat.
I knew where the action was at.
Quarters after quarters put into the machine.
Killing Terminators so mankind could be free.
Donkey Kong robbed me of my girl.
I took a hammer to his face, face full of swirls.
Went into space Blasting through enemies left and right.
Still don't beat the game after playing all night.
Damn it why is Onslaught so cheap.
Grinning in my face, I taste defeat.
Until I bring Ryu and Wolverine on the screen.
 Bringin it to his face, the fusion between two men.
Got that beserker barrage X and a Shinkuu Hadouken.
Damn right, I wasted like three dollars.
Oh man I'm Broke, my friends here me holler.
Luckily they spot me a few more.
Kicking the soccer ball into the goal.
Goalie is holding his head.
I leave that game to go driving instead.
Playing hydro thunder, doing stunts off mountain tops.
In the background, I hear someone listening to Alt. rock.
Can't going wrong with playing games.
After while you get worn out from playing the same.
The good old days seem like yesterday.
Long Live the Arcades that what I say.

God is With me Always.

Where I am come from, does it matter.
I look for hope that doesn't shatter.
Keeping hope Alive.
It allows me to sleep at night.
 Remembering that Jesus died for our sins.
 Guided by faith allows me to win.
 Without him, I don't know where I would be.
 Probably contemplating jumping into the sea.
 That is just devil talk.
 God's path is the way I walk.
My friends and family are smiling.
 I stand up and say, No more crying.
 I am tired of being down and sad.
 Looking all around and Getting Mad.
That attitude has got to go.
 Telling that old snake, NO!
Crawling out of that hole, I am done.
My friends are waiting, I want to see the sun.
 With it shining in the sky, it feels comfy.
 Add a little wind to make breezy.
 Going home with a smile on my face.
 I want to make sure to end up at Jesus's place.
 Praising him and thanking him for guidance.
With God, friends and family makes the best alliance
Watching over me as I go back to house.
I go back with no fear and without any doubt.

I am Alive

I feel like I just achieved bankai
To believe in the truth, not listen to lies.
Here I was feeling depressed and sad.
Taking myself away from the things that make me mad.
Realizing that I have friends out there who care.
Those phonies are nothing but air.
Sandy struck hard but God strikes harder.
He keeps me on track, when I start to wonder.
Wondering what to do instead of doing it.
There is no genie and no 3 wishes.
It take effort to know what you want to do.
That is why i still have a job and I go to school
I am not greedy and I don't envy what other people have.
Content with what I can't just grab.
I know I am good person who does good things.
To not talk so much negative and do some listening.
There is good in me,
Going forth with life, not holding back.
Like a wind that lifts up the kite.
Balance must be perserved.
Keep me from getting any worse.
I have do things on my own.
I am not a little kid anymore I am grown.
Although Life is hard, there is hope.
I am glad I see that, there's no time to mope.
Continue writing my poetry.
My poems are similar like lines of symmetry .
I pray for good times ahead.
Thinking of only the good instead.

A new type of Poem.

I am alone.
My hope is gone.
Feeling Angry I roam.
I roam because I am Alone.
My thoughts run wild.
Cant think or smile.
Feel more like a little child.
I pick up the phone to dail.
I call my friends, no answer.
Watching a movie called Jumper
As I'm watching, I start to wonder.
There 's a storm in my head, I hear thunder.
A voice is telling me not to worry.
Where you're going, no need to hurry.
Wash your clothes, they are dirty.
Ignoring ignorant thoughts, my mind is steady.
I can't allow this to follow through.
All this violence is nothing new.
If it happens to you, that is cruel.
Don't change who you are. Be you.
If I do, Will I get treated the same?
I will not be your tool, I won't change.
I am me and I'm not playing your game.
I am content with what I have, don't need fame.
As time goes on, I struggle to not fall apart.
Man, I wish it was easy, cause this is hard.
There was a time, where I used to play cards.
Till my hope left, and close behind was my heart.
 I feel like there is nothing left.
Taking out like a pawn in chess.
I know I am skilled, Don't want to be the best.
To be a champion, standing out from all the rest.

What goes in my head 7-another Short.

I am outside walking in the cold.
My hands are shaking, Telling me that I should go.
Leaves are falling covering the grass.
I wonder how much longer this will last.
That day is coming, reminding me to be thankful.
I am alive and often considered helpful.
Helping the people because I want to.
Being considerate and them saying Thank you.
Some people not all have hidden motives.
Asking for one thing but really want something more.
Why is that the case?
Why? Can't it be a kind gesture.

Damn this is Upsetting

I am so upset, ashamed of what I am.
Is there anything that I do understand.
Failing my classes at a alarming rate.
How much more do I have to take?
Sandy was bad and no one I knew was hurt.
So why does the pain feels so much worse.
I feel like I am slipping away.
At the house,I stay inside all day.
In the dark, I am alone.
To be honest, I want to go back home.
Up here sucks too many bad memories.
Depression swarming in like a bunch of bees.
Stinging at me wherever I go.
Hanging my head down as I am being told.
I turn away and decide not to listen.
There are a lot of fish, but I ain't fishin.
There is a time and a place for everything.
Whoever God sees is right is fine for me.
Hopefully.
I can be accepted for me and not for something else.

Becoming Stronger

Went to the hospital today for a visit.
Wonder what the doctor will say while I sit.
Can't sleep and really don't feel like eating.
For some reason I have no problem reading.
Reading sci-fi and Percy jackson.
Writing poems is my passion.
I felt like I lost a part of myself.
Feeling alone when I need some help.
Who's is left standing at the end of the night.
Just me in my room, What is my reason to fight?
Fighting for me, there is no room for pity.
No need to complain and say life is shitty.
I've been down a lot and I lose track of time.
I know I am still that same guy who is kind.
To give a helping hand to anyone in need.
Not getting carried away and corrupted by greed.
People and their words, that is just their opinion.
It's there to get me upset, why bother to listen.
They didn't help or try to show support.
Like the unreliable evidence that is shown in court.
I will not listen to people who talk about me.
There are other things I can do, like study.
To pass my class.
To not look like an ass.
Look up at the clouds.
Surviving all that, I can be proud.
My Life has already begun.
To not change who i am, I can have fun.
That infection can harm me no longer.
Faith is the cure, It has made me stronger.
To go outside to see what God has made.
 After all that ,I know that I am not a mistake.

Climbing up

 In a dark and gloomy room.
There lies a man, thinking on what to do.
The storm has made everyone confused.
Having faith in God, he knows that he isn't doomed.
Thanking the lord that at least people are outside.
They may not have power, but at least they are still alive.
Where I am everyone is so separate from each other.
Where are those bonds?
What ever happen to helping out one another.
At least, I have not given up my faith.
With it I know which path to take.
So why is my mind so clouded.
My future is unknown, it is completely shrouded.
Need to help myself get better and back on my feet.
Walking alone in the debris-ridden street.
Watching where I step, One step at a time.
I smile as I see the sun rise in to the sky.
Knowing that One day things will be different.
Knowing what make sense.
Being true and honest about my beliefs.
Finding motivation in myself gives me relief.

The Future is Hmm I wonder?

In my mind I feel so withdrawn.
Nothing knowing what to do, feeling so calm.
In my dreams, I am holding hands with a girl.
Makes me have some hope in the world.
Nothing feels better that having someone there.
Who stands by you and that cares.
I am only human, I have made a lot of mistakes.
I am what God has made.
I am me.
I have to help myself.
Only then can can I help out my fellow citizens.
Having faith in myself allows me to win.
 I am thankful for everything that has been done.
One of these days I will have fun.
First I have to take care of what's important.
Only then I will be absolutely certain.
That my purpose is to help people out.
Telling others that there is no reason to shout.
 Giving it my all and no slacking off.
Its won't be easy, certainly it is rough.
Having my friends for support when it gets bad.
God tells me that it will be ok, don't be sad.
As time goes by, I wonder what my fate will be.
Guided by Faith revealing my destiny.