Boku no Kuesto(My Quest}

                                                    I feel lost today.

Thinking that there is no way.

Can I go on ?

To go far and be strong.

I want to believe that there is good in me.

To not be selfish or mean.

Allow me to continue writing.

Its my way of fighting.

Fighting off the forces of negativity.

A way of finding peace.

that is what writing achieves.

For me this is not the end.

I want to be there for my friends.

People only give me advice to help me

not be against me any way.

It starting to come back the words I need to say.

I should listen more and talk less

That right there will get me out of the mess.

Lord I ask for you to forgive me.

Forgive me for doubting.

Let me look toward the future and Smile.

A smile that last for a while.

Another Poem and Another Note. :(

Writing away as times passes by.
Hiding away from the blue sky.
Why are you still in my head.
Is there anything else to think about instead.
Dreams where you are happy with me.
That is something so I won't feel crappy.
I don't see why these thoughts still exist.
I believe I have accepted your decision
Yet, my mind wont let you go.
Try to tell me to have hope.
Doesn't pay sit around and mope.
What lies before me in the new year.
Will it be like this one full of fear.
Even so, I will not dwell on things that I cannot change.
Remember that it is gone so nothing is the same.
If there is hope for me, then I don't see it.
I feel as if I'm not even worth it.
Dreams are more forgiving than reality.
Who on this earth can forgive me.
Its burden that I bear.
To be in despair.
For the people who see as a monster that I am.
Who they claim they can understand.
But they never give me another chance.
Saying that It will just happen again.
Nobody knows that for sure.
I'm tired of feeling sore.
Not wanting any part of this anymore.

The quest for peace.

Going through all this.
Feeling like a helpless fish.
What can you do?
Keep the people you love around you.
Listen and talk less.
It steers you clear of driving into a mess.
We as people have no right to even judge.
That right is only meant for the lord above
He listen to us when we pray and he cares.
Turning us from the people who just stare.
All I would like to have is one thing.
Peace
I would share it with old and young.
Along with the blind and the dumb.
Everyone could use peace in their lives.
with a sound mind.
and enjoying good times

An attempt to Rap. lol Inspired by Dr.Dre

Ya know me.
Guy who hates fighting,
Always writing
Poem fresh outta my head.
I must be alive cause I ain't dead.
Earning my keep, Making dat bread.
Wondering what live has in store.
Is it less or is it more.
Walking out the door.
Breathing in and seeing the sky.
I must be high.
High with positivity
Fall back with that negativity.
I don't need that S**T
Not goin make me it's B**ch.
I am a man.
Man who understand.
I do what i can.
What i'm able to do.
Not hear to impress you.
All that S**t I went through, not cool.
We all fall.
I dust myself off and stand tall.
I'm here for yall.

My friends and Family that support me.

Black Man, Black Man, What do you see ?

Black Man, Black Man what do you see ?
I see a bunch of people staring at me.
Why are they looking at you Mr. Black Man.
They are looking at me because they don't understand.
What don't they understand about you.
That is I will not do the same things that they do.
Mr. Black man, you sure are strange.
That's because little one, over times things change.
As people continue to bicker and complain.
Efforts for peace might as well be in vain.
Remember this Little one.
We must work hard as well as to have fun.
A balance must exist between the two elements.
Ignore the irrelevant.
The little things in life that gives us a reason to smile.
It does help ease things once in a while.

Tired of these MFs

Going far for someone is it worth it?
Not when the result you feeling like shit.
Hanging my head like I just got dissed.
All that for nothing man I'm pissed.
These folks are something else.
Asking for my help
Why am I the last resort?
Why is it there is always something more ?
I don't ask for very much.
Just tired of looking Down, need to look up .
This path I take is a long walk.
Should I just stay quiet and not talk.
Should I let things be the way they are.
Hell no, why should you get so far?
I work hard.
Doing right by others.
I'm tired of these motherf**kers.
Here to make me feel like crap.
Hoping to push my buttons so I  can just snap
I don't want to regret
I hope for the best.
Helping others until Its my time to rest.

Trapped in Darkness, Faith will see me Through.

In the dark my fears come to life.
They completely surround me waiting to take a bite.
Alone and confused.
Don't really know what to do.
Will I survive this ordeal or
will the demons come for their meal.
I stand up to hold my ground.
They come at me and toss me around.
Around and around my mind goes.
Separate from my body, I've become a ghost.
Even as a ghost, I am not at peace.
I have let this demons have their way with me.
I didn't stand a chance.
Looking at myself, How can I call myself a man.
I pray to God and ask for his forgiveness.
I call on his name to help me sort out this mess.
Faith goes a long way.
As long as I believe, I live to see another day.

Peace Vs Violence.

Anger leads to conflict with one another.
There is has to be way to help out each other.
Why are things so inconsistent ?
Why are people are so willing to take credit ?
It is so easy to point out someone to blame.
After that things are never the same.
You want to help someone, do it because it's fair
Helping is better than leaving them alone somewhere.
I really do hope that one day.
I can say
That I am truly at peace.
Let Peace come forth and allow violence to cease.
Smile when it good, and when it is bad.
Self-control is wiser then getting mad.

Thought of Music.

Back then songs had positive messages.
It reaches outs to adults and the kids.
Nodding my head, listening to the music.
A combination of steady beats and powerful lyrics.
Artist who expresses their passion through sound.
One thing about sound is that it gets around.
Listening to those messages, hearing what they felt.
Those artist loved what they were doing.
Whether they were rapping or singing.
The same goes for people who are trying to make it
Life can be hard
but remember one thing.
Doing what you love makes you who are.

Be Different.

I want to become something different.

Where to start? Have to start lookin

Let people understand what I mean.

What it means to be Unique.

Why do most people act the same ?

Day after Day, I look for a change.

The change has to begin, within me.

The path that leads to my destiny.

Seeing New faces

Visiting New Places.

Having Both good and bad times.

Writing new poems with new rhymes.

Where does the journey begins, who is to say.

This is me, this is today.

I do know one thing.

The future is uncertain who knows what it will bring.

Another day another Poem

Going around
Looking Down.
Walking without making a sound.
Very Quietly.
So Silently.
No need to act so violently.
They don't understand.
I'm Just a man.
May not be perfect but I do what I can.
All Day
That is what I say.
Helping out people is what I do, OK?
If you don't like me,
 Don;t worry It is a Mutual feeling.
Instead of doing hurt, how about some healing.
I don't aim to be best
The reason I Talk  is to connect.
Who knows what can happen next.

Connections Can be Hard.

Seeing you across the way,
I must be lucky to see you today
Who is she? Something about you
Do I want to know her? Yes I do.
 I'm one of many guys in the world.
Who I am to you girl?
A stranger but lets get to know one another.
Who knows, it could work out for each other.
I'm interested so why not give me a chance?
So its not me, then its the next man
Why is so hard to be there.
I don't want to be saying this is unfair.
You tell me what I'm thinking without me saying a word.
Can I get a chance to even be heard?
Love connects two paths to make an intersection.
Communication is how we make the connection.
I am patient and I take my time.
Taking my time make these words rhyme.
Wondering why I don't ever get that chance.
Sometimes the reasons don't ever make sense.

Realizing Somethings. Not really a Poem

A good day comes from the good thoughts that dwell inside you.
Let those thoughts be a source of strength given to you from the lord above.
I need to understand that I'm not alone.
All I really need is a Hug.

Content in My own Skin.

Here I go again.
Saying Nobody Understands
Even as a man.
I sink below the sand.
It is a time to be happy, the people say.
Why does this happen around the holidays.
I hook up the Xbox but can't find a reason to play.
To be honest, I just want to have a good day.
Day with where I haven't hurt anyone.
A day where I can just enjoy the Sun.
Hanging out with friends and Having some from fun.
If I keep this up, Most Likely I'm done.
I get sad because I'm afraid to face my family.
I make a whole lot of mistakes for a human being.
Is there really such a thing as destiny.
Lord I do ask for your help. please.
I want to do right by me.
Writing down words to express my creativity.
To see a different expression on my face, like smiling.
A clear understand of what it means to be Happy.

To be content with living in my own skin.

Nightmares of hell

When I go to sleep, I get nightmares.
They have me shaking and gaping for air.
Falling down into a hole of despair.
I call out and wonder is anyone there?
I wake up with a start turn on the lights.
Sweating. From the devil who gave me such a fright.
He laughs at me and tells me I belong with him.
That there is no point in resisting, just let him win.
I fEel the wrong I have done to other will lead me to hell.
Where there is fire and people burning and no wells.
Why am I talking this way.
It's on my mind at times during the day
I don't want to go down there.
But I i will be  on my away if I don't get help.

A note in a form a poem.

What is wrong ?
My hope is gone.
All because of resh
Stuck in all this mess.
what to do.
Should I tie up a noose.
Let my body hang loose.
Would it matter if I wasnt there.
Lifeless body hanging in the air.
Thoughts like these come to me.
With no one around, who really can stop me.
Should haven't said anything at all.
Try to not think about it.
Doesn't work
No one here except me in this room.
Should I keep fighting
or fall toward impending doom.
The choice is mine but I don't see much to keep me here.
This has been a rough year.
I know it's not the answer
23 yrs of pain.
Neglection
And
Rejection.
give me enough reason to.
didn't mean to hurt you.
But it seems this is all can do.
To not exist all.
Cause I continue to fall.

Let the Passion flow.

She,
Who is She?
She is a mystery.
A mystery that is worth solving.
Smiling when the thoughts come.
Sad when then the thoughts are gone.
Writing out my passion, laying it all down.
These words allow my mind to be sound.
Looking up and seeing your face.
Makes my heart race.
Letting me know that I'm in the right place.
To bring myself closer to you.
You mean so much yes you do.
I would like to see this through.
Treating you right.
Learn to avoid the fight.
Make love to you in the night.
I acknowledge that you are the one for me.
Not just someone but a part of my destiny.
Being Honest and caring wholeheartedly.
Tell me what you need
Tell me how you feel,
These words I'm expressing are for real.
You believe in truth.
Let me show what I can do
Staying true
to
and
by
you.

A Poem For today.

I was once a smiling kid who only had one wish.
To be a hero.
But now as an adult, I feel more like zero.
Nothing has change.
The nightmares stay the same.
Not really able to do much.
I feel as if I've got the rotten luck.
Where do I go.
What do I do.
Being alone in the room,
Upset and confused.
Why am I not able to have a plan.
Plan to do something else besides Stand.
Time is just Flying by.
Can't sit around.
Have to do something.
Now

Realizing where I am.

I start at the base and look toward the top.
My brain is focused, there is no way to stop.
I reach for the stub
Giving it a tug
I need to establish my grip.
One wrong move and that's it.
Holding on and seeing what's around me.
Should I hang on or take the leap.
Leaping was reckless
Left with big scratches.
As I look toward the sky
Scratching my head wondering why?
 Why can't I reach the top.
To have come so far and be stuck with a block.
The same block that prevents me
from accessing that untapped potential.
Because I act as I am
and no that doesn't make mental.
I will go through life being myself
For the world, and my future.
I'm will not change into someone else.

Love on the Brain.

 

Learning from my past.
Can't act to fast.
Just take it slow.
Maybe, just maybe one day
You know.
It's a big world out there.
Far from nice and anything but fair.
Showing that you're real as can be.
Confidence is a necessity.
Love is an experience, it's not just a thing.
Love is unknown, who know what it will bring.
I wsh I knew what it felt like to love in that way.
If I could have the feeling, it would brighten up the day.
Balance is the key.
I seek to find someone who balance me.
Someone who is unlike the other fish.
Someone who sees that I exist.
That's all I ask for.
Nothing more.

About John Part 2

It is nightfall and the Dark Scorpion Gang are on the move with their captive, a boy a named John.

Exiting the village, Don Zaloog and Co. make their way to forest. Through the bitter cold and unyielding terrain they reach the end of the dense forest.

At this moment, Don Zaloog tells his comrades to rest for a bit. Borg ties John onto a tree and tells Don Zaloog that he is still out but notices a particular birthmark on John's arm. Cliff goes to investigate the birthmark when suddenly the wind picks up. Howling winds and a dense mist a bad combination, Cliff thinks to himself. He shouts out to the Don that they should stick together and pre--

, His voice gets cut short. Don Zaloog unsheathes his blade and tells Chick the Yellow to make sure that the prisoner won't get away. Chick runs toward John but mist catches up to him and he found unconscious. Then Don hears Meanae scream. He turns towards her but finds her unconscious as well. Borg begins to head toward his boss when a giant tree branch sends him flying.

The wind fades away and Don Zaloog see that his gang has been overwhelmed. "Brrr" Don hears a noise and turn to see a horse staring right back at him. He says to himself, “That horse?”

"It couldn't be him" Don Zaloog begins to back away slowly from the horse only to hit the armor of a well-built soldier. Don: " Oh Sh... WHACK! Down goes the last Scorpion.

The Mysterious soldier says that he been looking for this bunch for a while. His Steed nods in agreement.

 "Uhh Uhh "

The horse points toward the north tree and the soldier finds the what is making those sounds.He finds a boy tied up and quickly unties him and gets him down. The soldier checks to see if the boy is breathing and its a relief that he is. John wakes up to the feeling of someone shaking him and asking who he is. He tells the soldier that his name is John and then asking what the soldier's name is.

The Soldier replies "My name is Seigfried, but I am simply know as Freed by my comrades.  

Looking at myself these five years from where I came from.
A time where I would work and get the job done.
Where I looked forward to going outside and having fun.
Having my own room and my own video games.
Those where good times and since then nothing is the same

All because of one decision.

The Point.

Think Carefully before making a decision.

Not everything is Wavy

I'm drowing in a wave of bad memories.
Coming at me each and every week.
Working and trying to keep myself busy.
It's not working and I feel really weak.
Not say much or eating at at.
Fastest way to the bed is to fall.
Hit the bed but I can't sleep for long.
I have nightmares that go on and on.
At this rate, I'm going to collapse.
What do you expect from a guy living off snacks.
He feels like neglected and often ignored.
He feels as people come to him when they're bored.
Sure it can get boring at times.
But as day goes by he's not the same guy
Taking it all so personally.
What is it that he isnt understanding.
Why does he feel this way ?
Why does he remain still and has nothing to say?
He should open his mouth.
Pray to the lord, rebuke fear and doubt.
Go outside and get some air.
Who knows who might be there.
To care about himself, that is something.
Its better to care than think of yourself as nothing.

The Step before the Plunge.

All that loneliness and nowhere to go.
Right in front of me is a deep hole.
Running from what I'm suppose to do.
All these messages trying to get through.
I listen and nod.
Saying that is odd.
How folks give their opinion and they know nothing.
Yes, I had a chance to do something.
Didnt finish all the way and I failed.
Fell all the way down because I let go of the rail.
Damn that hurt.
The images in my head are worse.
Seeing myself take my own life.
Will it be with pills or a knife.
Now i sound like a suicidal case.
Listening to the fact, Realizing that everyone mistakes.
Let me back away from that bottomless pit.
Getting myself together and strengthing my grip.
It will take time to deal with the loneliness.
It easy to be alone but so is forgivness.
Being Grateful to God for the chances
Edifying my defenses.
Living with what I've done.
Accepting the responsibility of being the only one.
I have to look out for me.
Proving to myself that I am somebody.

Not knowing whats going on?

Walking out of the room hoping things will change.
Yet coming back I say Dammit its all the same.
I wish I could be confident in myself.
To be my own man
I gained the support of others
I feel like I am alone when they aren't around.
I shouldn't feel down.
Shouldn't feel like this at all.
Rattling my brain around it all.
What do i want ?
Why don't I have some idea.
Is it far or it it near.

Am I so dense?

If so, does it really make any sense.
Looking at the floor.
Hoping for more.
Looking up to say.
Lord let this be a good day.
Gotta sit down and think
I could gone like that with one blink.
All stress I could use a drink.

Going through all this S**t.

Is it really me that causes all of this?

No destination and no clue.
What am I suppose to do.
Really.
I would like to know.
Before I have to go.

Good Day "Steven"

A Sunny sky with blue clouds.
Clears my mind of any doubts.
 As the day goes by.
Walking down the street waving "Hi"
I smile to myself and say
This is a good day.
What should I do ?
Thinking about whats cool.
Feel like going to the arcade.
Play me some shooting games.
Like Area 51 or Ocean Hunter.
Will I ever beat that game? I wonder.
I leave  to go get something to eat.
Will I have Pizza or Chinese?
Neither of those, I think I will have a sandwich.
To my wallet it does less damage.
A good day is what I look forward to.
Even if it just me there, that's cool too.
All that matter is
This
Me with a smile
a smile that's last a while.

Negative to Postive

Complaining so much, It really is sad.
People look at my face and assume I'm mad.
I just remain silent in the background.
Better to be observe than to utter a sound.
I take in what is told to me usually.
Do people mean to hurt me intentionally ?
Why do I ask for their advice?
Feeling down and would like to hear something nice.
Sometimes that isn't what I hear.
More like something to fear.
Feel like running away from it all
Too bad no one tells you
the more you run, the further you fall.
God appears and tells me to stop.
This fearful act you must drop.
Nothing to fear except the Lord above.
Loved ones giving me a hug.
Telling me its going to be all right.
Learn to see things in a positive light.

Dream of you

When I put my head down, I dream of you.
Dreaming of peaceful time with plenty to do.
Seeing you smile again.
I begin to understand.
That this can only be a dream.
Your smile shows but not to me.
Images of a time I've longed for.
One mistake lead you to walk out that door.
She gone, It's no more.
Nothing else can be done.
Can't even think straight or have fun.
Its like a part of me that I've lost when you left.
I didn't want anyone else but you.
It hurts my chest
Seeing you now as my ex.
Have to bear it.
Endure the hits
Have to make a way out this mess.
Only God knows who is next.
Until that time comes. It's just me.
Nobody else but me.

Staying on the track

I fall down hard after being so close.
So close to thing I want most.
To be myself and nothing more.
To finally be able to reach that door.
That is my goal.
To be happy and smile again.
A gentle man.
Who doesn't given to anger or fear.
Leaving all that behind all those years.
I've been through a lot.
Yet, I find myself thinking about her.
How we used to be there for one another.
Those thoughts come and go.
For now I need to stay focus on the goal.
The lord is my guide to salvation.
Keeping me on track to the destination.
Have to be calm
Have to be strong.
Uncertainty disrupts morality
and exposes vulnerability.
Days are getting shorter, I have to be ready
No need to rush to the end,
Take it slow and steady.

I fell down Hard.

 My goal is to focus on the days ahead.
Why am I feeling so lost instead?
When I sleep I see
Past Memories,
and feel
Mental Injuries,
I feel as if I trying to tell me something.
Some Important clue that I'm missing.
Like a shoe that requires the right fitting.
Sitting in this chair
staring into the air.
The answer doesn't come at all.
Am i destined to come close and fall.
I need to leave love alone for a while.
So far I haven't been able to smile.
Been putting to much time into other things.
Not Me
Not one bit.
Ain't that some shit.
My priorities are all over the place.
All my fears hitting me right in the face.
Breaking down.
Falling without a sound.
 I hit the ground hard, Not moving around
Just Laying there....

Looking at myself.

Why do i choose to listen to this musician?
I like the song.
Why do i decide to do good.
Its better than doing the wrong things.
As days go by, Seeing the world in my one eyes.

I am what I am. that will never change.

Things change and some stay the same.
Like playing games on the PS2.
I would rather shoot zombies than be fooled by you.
Holding my heading wondering why?
I'm still alive with a job trying to get by.
Shaking that off, Time to look up at the sky.
Life is hard even when you get older.
Shows you that each day, it gets a little colder.
Got to surive and strive to make each day better.

Start with Today, one thing at time at time.

Being Thankful in October

As the year come to a close.
I think of all of things I've done.
What is bothering me the most?
Where is this all coming from?
Sitting in Chair
Breathing in the air.
Feeling Uncertain still
Holding How I feel.
I've down that road before.
The one leads to love.
Didnt know what was in store.
So I ask for help from above.
I pray for my nightmares to end.
Praying for peace.
Thank you Lord for my friends.
I'm grateful for all you've done for me.

What it means to me ?

When it comes a relationship, I'm looking for a certain connection.
A connection that lasts no matter what situation.
Am I considerate of your feelings. Yea I am.
Being the gentleman
Treating her with kindness and respect.
Hope she is the one for me and does not become an ex.
People say relationships come and go.
If we do break-up , well at least I know.
What I meant to you and what you meant to me.
One of the many paths of destiny.

Damn, Why not Me ? SMH

My Feelings are in a swirl.

Looking for just one girl.

In this cold messed up world.

From a distance I take a glance.

I picture us dancing even though I can't dance.

I ask what is your name.

I get silence and look full of shame.

Damn, Is every girl like this.

Pretty on the outside, hiding all that malice.
What should I do?

I could really use a helpful clue.

I know I'm not the first who walk to her.

But I know that I'm different from the others.

Hearing that " You're not my type".

What the hell is type and is it right.

Is everyone so picky?

A million different reasons on why It can't be

Seriously at this rate  I want to leave.

Leave it up to destiny.

 

The Darkness Holds me

I hear myself going on and on about I'm stuck
The people that stare at me don't give a fuck.
All around me those eyes are.
Staring at from the inside of a car.
I wish i knew what to do.
Other than go to my room.
There the depression begins and ends.
it creeps up on me when I'm alone.
When no one messages or calls me on the phone.
I crawl into bed
Holding my head.
Not moving as if i were dead.
Going down instead.
Into the black abyss.
That Heavy darkness
I don't see a way out.
I cannot get past these walls of doubt.
No motivation and a lack of will.
I feel empty and unfulfilled.
Want things to change
 Yet, Things stay the same.
Body feels weak.
Head feels like i just got beat.
Can't even enjoy the end of the week.
Got work on Monday, Oh lovely.

Narrow road to destiny.

I want to live a life full of positive feelings.
Yet all that exist around me is negativity.
Thinking that i can go far and escape.
Yea, Big Mistake.
It follows me where ever I go.
Like someone forcing their opinion down my throat.
I look for a hand but it's not there.
Shaking my head and saying so fair.
Is it up to me?
Being Lonely.
Feeling Empty.
Nothing to satisfy me.
I really don't like being this way.
Not like this each and every day.
Put my hands together and pray.
Lord  please help me find a way.
Change the way I think and feel.
What I go through each day is real.
Feeling Hungry but don't want to eat.
The pain hurts, so I try to get some sleep.
I can't sleep and the nightmare goes on and on.
Struggling and fighting until its all gone.
I wake up tired and with out energy
I still have things to do.
Before I walk outside i say one last thing before i leave the room.
Thank you Lord for sparing my life.
You are my Guide.
Guide me to my destination.
Allow me to overcome this dire situation.
Show me that i am better than them.
That i'm not ignorant. I'm able to understand.
As a man.
I am learning what drives me.
Driving me on that narrow road to my destiny.

The truth from my experiences.

We are created individually.

Living in a selfish society.

Following the daily routine.

Looking closely

Trying to figure out what it all means.

Not everyone is nice, it seems.

Blinded and Now I see

I'm blinded by love.
I'm Confused, but I still would like to hug.
Why are my feelings so strong.
To be with you is that so wrong?
I wonder will I meet the right person someday.
I can't give up here, so i look up to heavens and pray.
God, guide me to the one that relates to me.
Lead me through the thick fog so that I may see
The one for me...
Looking at the many women that pass me by.
So shy
I struggle just to utter the word "Hi"
One answers back and I go from there.
While she other plan, I was flying through the air.
It felt good to have this kind of connection.
But its like wifi, it works in different sections.
 It doesn't work out for me. Damn that sucks.
Learning from the mistake of leaning on too much.
I been told that I've have a big heart.
A big heart that gets rejected alot and falls apart.
Picking up the remains.
Are all woman the same?
Is it even worth the pain.
I'm would like to be with just one.
One woman.
Who knows what she doing.
Aint about the games or tricks.
All that will do is get you in some shit.
So at the end of the road.
In my heart I know.
That there is someone there for me.
Waiting to be found.

Its a Cold World man

People really get on my nerves.
Things I hear makes me feel like dirt.
I wish that had a mute button.
That way i don't have to hear nothing.
Nothing you say matters anyways.
Grow the fuck up and have a nice day.
I hear ya" make your money".
Money doesn't make me.
Rather being inside just writing..
Those boring days and not a single call.
Sitting down with my laptop against the wall.
Writing the words.
Trying to be heard.
Doing what I can
Can you understand?
What it means to feel like an outcast man.
Trying to be social in cold world.
All those mixed signs, You making my head spin girl.
Just being me and trying to have a conversation.
The end result is me and you have no relation.
Nothing in common and you playing with the phone.
Why did I even bother ?  Should have stay home.
Why are people so cold.
What is there that they care about the most.
I care about helping people out.
Even though I do, I start to doubt.
Questioning every single little thing.
Not exactly what i planned on doing.
Can't do what i need to.
Going out there I don't want to be fool.
Lord Give me wisdom to answer the question.
To listen to that wise suggestion.
To keep me motivated in life.
Keeping me from holding a knife.
There is hope.
Keeping my friends close.

Looking in the Mirror

Looking at the mirror " Am I so bad"

Hearing those harsh words make me sad.

Holding it all in makes me crash.

Then I get asked why am so mad?

I wonder why and say.

I had a really bad day.

Here I am falling apart and yet i stay.

What I need to pray.

Ask the lord to keep those demons away.

They keep coming to bring me down.

Piercing my ears with that dreadful sound.

Only coming when there is no one around.

Dragging me away till I'm no longer found.

Telling me that I'm weak.

Some kind of Freak.

Looking like a creep.

Hearing that makes me weep.

I shake and shake till i wake.

Hearing all that knowing that it's fake.

Only one road to take.

Where I go from here, it's all up to fate.

Break Away- LIl poem.

I want to feel those soft hands

Feel that warmth again.

Be located in a different place.

Have a smile on my face.

Not much luck

This really does suck.

Why am I here.

Why am I so quiet and full of fear.

Fear of what around me.

Wishing and hoping.

Things will be good again.

Maybe I'll begin to understand.

What I must to say

In order to break away.

Today was a good Day- Inspiration from Ice Cube

Waking up in the morning, Thanking God.
Hearing my phone ring, that's odd.
Sometime I wonder why have a phone.
Living by myself, I'm on my own.
Going to outside to see the sun shine.
Damn that sun, it blind my eyes.
Hearing cars pass and kids play
Thanking God that's it's a good day.
Feeling hungry I head to the store.
Getting what I need and nothing more.
Seeing a pretty girl walk right in
Complimenting her on beauty, Epic Win.
Waving good-bye, I head on out
Living each day without fear or doubt.
Heading back to basement for writing.
Find words that click is tiring.
I keep on going till, I get that block.
Intensely focus on the words, I hear a knock
Friend came down to see what was up.
Gave him a nod and said nothing much.
Asking me if i wanted to duel.
Sounds like a plan and I said cool.
The tense battle with the cards.
My opponent comes at me hard.
I analyze my situation and devise a counter.
Clearing the traps making the way for my monster.
Laughing hysterically like a weirdo.
I attack directly and  the points go to zero.
.I enjoy the times where i can laugh.
Remembering the good memories I had.
Life is can be bad but its doesn't last for long.
Good exist as well, Like a peaceful song.
I enjoy writing and have a good time.
It was a good day, Let the moment shine.

A Day without Strife.

A peaceful dream
What does it mean?
Should i take time to ask?
Or will the dream shatter like glass.
Oh man, What to do.
Trying to reach out, but no one comes through.
Pacing back and forth, holding my head.
Hearing the words" Give up"
I hold my ground instead.
To go so far
Trying to feel your way through the dark.
Reaching the end
Knowing who are your true friends
In the end, I do what i can.
Caring about folks that do understand.
The struggle and the hard life.
Can  there be a day without strife?

A little something- Life, fate, Change

Life, 

Full of strife

Taken away by a knife.

Left to bleed out and die.

To prevent such a fate

One must learn from their mistakes.

Knowing which road to take.

Following the path to get to the right place.

Change

It can be so strange.

Different from the same.

Unique as a person's name.

Asking Why

I'm here to write

As time goes on So will I.

Remain who you are until you close your eyes.

 

My Input on Writing.

Writing is something that I like.
Writing what on my mind and it feels right.
Walking down the street drinking green tea.
Listening to Lindsey Sterling.
That Violin combination with the beats.
Shit is so calming
Nothing can bother me.
Writing my expression matching it with rhyme.
I should be this optimistic all the time.
It only shows up when I'm alone.
When I'm not on Facebook or looking at my phone.
I hate being on both and people don't bother to contact.
Whats up with that.
Running away from yesterday.
Is there nothing that i can say.
It was bad,
I was very sad.
That i couldn't enjoy it all.
Watched as my self-esteem took a giant fall.
People around still giving me stares.
Giving me notion that people don't care.
Most people don't and few people do.
Being nice to most folk leads to getting screwed.

Still Searching

Seeking guidance from the lord above.
Going far for someone I care for, That is love.
My feelings are strong like a passing wind.
Allowing it to all come together, its like an epic win.
Searching but to no avail can I find what I seek.
I seek someone that is kind and is unique.
Someone who accepts my feelings and doesn't get scared.
Showing me that this can work because we care.
I'm sorry if I wasn't best choice but I thought you were.
I called out and i though it was your voice i heard.
I kept asking myself what I am doing wrong.
Should I have said nothing, and left it alone all along ?
Women are strange to me, is it my fault that i don't understand.
Giving me all these different signs, Too much to handle I am just a man.
A man who cares for the one loves,
Not hear to play games, to push or to shove.
Listening to songs
Following along
What it means to be a lover
Not to be compare to any other.
Not to go back
To get riled up and attack.
I just need to take it slow and that isn't hard.
Love is about holding it together, not falling apart.

Goal for Me

Going for the goal, that my aim in life.
Why am I constantly stalked by the knife.
Each time I get close, It slips away.
When that happens, I say "One Day".
I want to meet someone and express my feelings.
I shouldn't rush before I come down crashing.
Crash and Burn should be my nickname.
Each time I have feelings for someone it ends up the same.
Even when I wait and ignore that side of me.
Freaking Couples always show where i don't want to be.
When I'm alone, I do a lot of thinking.
All that stress while sitting in the chair, I'm sinking.
Complaining, Crying and whining. When does it end ?
After all that,  Do people really understand?
I'm done reaching out to people who don't reach back.
Why waste money going out when I can sit here and enjoy a snack.
I know who I am and What I've done.
I know I have to face it and not run.
Going back forth driving myself nuts.
Time to get myself out of this rut.
If I'm searching for someone then its myself.
That how i started alone with no one else.
I don't think that way anymore.
Making a goal to be happy more.

My Resolve

Holding on to good memories that I hold dear.
Running into the abyss with no fear.
What will happen to me? I don’t know.
Will I sink down to the deep below?
I will not know unless I take that chance.
If you hear my words will you understand?
The struggle I go through is not game.
Not everyone here on Earth is the same.
I am me and no one else.
From the bottom I start with just myself.
Helping others as best I able to.
Not going to be like the others just to be cool.
I will follow what I was taught.
Giving others hope and not selling them short.
For the world is hard and lonely enough.
Who needs your opinion?
Just Shut the F**k up

Who is he? Intro about John pt 1

"Where do you think you're going without me"? 

The man with battered cape and scarred armor appears!

Jin asks " Who are you?" The knight laughs and says it's me, John.

Jin tells him that he doesnt know anyone by that name. John: "you can't be serious we trained together for 3 years and you dont remember my face"." Hmm well let me remind you "

Master Monk: "That's Enough Tell us why you are here"? John refuses to say more and keeps his eyes focused on Jin.

This man appeared out of nowhere but who is he?

As a child,

 John liked to lead others into make-believe battles. He would shout out "thou art mine villain which the other kids would laugh at him for it. He would respond by grabbing his trusty branch and swing it in all directions. He then makes an oath to help out the oppressed people of the world.

One night on his way home John is ambushed by the Dark Scorpion Gang.

Their boss Don Zaloog approaches John and says "Hey kid want to work for us?"

John looks up to the boss and tells him " I am a leader, not gonna follow you around."Bleh.
The don chuckles to himself and say smart mouth but it wont save you. Don Zaloog pulls out a knife and throws it at John's head. Pulling out his trusty branch, he deflects it with ease. The whole gang looks at John with their mouths wide open. "Impressive" says Zaloog now i give you a brief example of what i am capable of.

Don Zaloog rolls back his eye patch and bright light shines from it. John covers his eyes. He then is attacked simultaneously 

and is knocked out."That kid was something else eh boss" says Gorg

"A cute kid like that ought be with us" says Meanae

Cliff fixes his Glasses and then tells Zaloog that they  hould leave now and to take the boy with them in case someone comes to look for him.