A Poem For today.

I was once a smiling kid who only had one wish.
To be a hero.
But now as an adult, I feel more like zero.
Nothing has change.
The nightmares stay the same.
Not really able to do much.
I feel as if I've got the rotten luck.
Where do I go.
What do I do.
Being alone in the room,
Upset and confused.
Why am I not able to have a plan.
Plan to do something else besides Stand.
Time is just Flying by.
Can't sit around.
Have to do something.
Now

Realizing where I am.

I start at the base and look toward the top.
My brain is focused, there is no way to stop.
I reach for the stub
Giving it a tug
I need to establish my grip.
One wrong move and that's it.
Holding on and seeing what's around me.
Should I hang on or take the leap.
Leaping was reckless
Left with big scratches.
As I look toward the sky
Scratching my head wondering why?
 Why can't I reach the top.
To have come so far and be stuck with a block.
The same block that prevents me
from accessing that untapped potential.
Because I act as I am
and no that doesn't make mental.
I will go through life being myself
For the world, and my future.
I'm will not change into someone else.

Love on the Brain.

 

Learning from my past.
Can't act to fast.
Just take it slow.
Maybe, just maybe one day
You know.
It's a big world out there.
Far from nice and anything but fair.
Showing that you're real as can be.
Confidence is a necessity.
Love is an experience, it's not just a thing.
Love is unknown, who know what it will bring.
I wsh I knew what it felt like to love in that way.
If I could have the feeling, it would brighten up the day.
Balance is the key.
I seek to find someone who balance me.
Someone who is unlike the other fish.
Someone who sees that I exist.
That's all I ask for.
Nothing more.

About John Part 2

It is nightfall and the Dark Scorpion Gang are on the move with their captive, a boy a named John.

Exiting the village, Don Zaloog and Co. make their way to forest. Through the bitter cold and unyielding terrain they reach the end of the dense forest.

At this moment, Don Zaloog tells his comrades to rest for a bit. Borg ties John onto a tree and tells Don Zaloog that he is still out but notices a particular birthmark on John's arm. Cliff goes to investigate the birthmark when suddenly the wind picks up. Howling winds and a dense mist a bad combination, Cliff thinks to himself. He shouts out to the Don that they should stick together and pre--

, His voice gets cut short. Don Zaloog unsheathes his blade and tells Chick the Yellow to make sure that the prisoner won't get away. Chick runs toward John but mist catches up to him and he found unconscious. Then Don hears Meanae scream. He turns towards her but finds her unconscious as well. Borg begins to head toward his boss when a giant tree branch sends him flying.

The wind fades away and Don Zaloog see that his gang has been overwhelmed. "Brrr" Don hears a noise and turn to see a horse staring right back at him. He says to himself, “That horse?”

"It couldn't be him" Don Zaloog begins to back away slowly from the horse only to hit the armor of a well-built soldier. Don: " Oh Sh... WHACK! Down goes the last Scorpion.

The Mysterious soldier says that he been looking for this bunch for a while. His Steed nods in agreement.

 "Uhh Uhh "

The horse points toward the north tree and the soldier finds the what is making those sounds.He finds a boy tied up and quickly unties him and gets him down. The soldier checks to see if the boy is breathing and its a relief that he is. John wakes up to the feeling of someone shaking him and asking who he is. He tells the soldier that his name is John and then asking what the soldier's name is.

The Soldier replies "My name is Seigfried, but I am simply know as Freed by my comrades.  

Looking at myself these five years from where I came from.
A time where I would work and get the job done.
Where I looked forward to going outside and having fun.
Having my own room and my own video games.
Those where good times and since then nothing is the same

All because of one decision.

The Point.

Think Carefully before making a decision.

Not everything is Wavy

I'm drowing in a wave of bad memories.
Coming at me each and every week.
Working and trying to keep myself busy.
It's not working and I feel really weak.
Not say much or eating at at.
Fastest way to the bed is to fall.
Hit the bed but I can't sleep for long.
I have nightmares that go on and on.
At this rate, I'm going to collapse.
What do you expect from a guy living off snacks.
He feels like neglected and often ignored.
He feels as people come to him when they're bored.
Sure it can get boring at times.
But as day goes by he's not the same guy
Taking it all so personally.
What is it that he isnt understanding.
Why does he feel this way ?
Why does he remain still and has nothing to say?
He should open his mouth.
Pray to the lord, rebuke fear and doubt.
Go outside and get some air.
Who knows who might be there.
To care about himself, that is something.
Its better to care than think of yourself as nothing.

The Step before the Plunge.

All that loneliness and nowhere to go.
Right in front of me is a deep hole.
Running from what I'm suppose to do.
All these messages trying to get through.
I listen and nod.
Saying that is odd.
How folks give their opinion and they know nothing.
Yes, I had a chance to do something.
Didnt finish all the way and I failed.
Fell all the way down because I let go of the rail.
Damn that hurt.
The images in my head are worse.
Seeing myself take my own life.
Will it be with pills or a knife.
Now i sound like a suicidal case.
Listening to the fact, Realizing that everyone mistakes.
Let me back away from that bottomless pit.
Getting myself together and strengthing my grip.
It will take time to deal with the loneliness.
It easy to be alone but so is forgivness.
Being Grateful to God for the chances
Edifying my defenses.
Living with what I've done.
Accepting the responsibility of being the only one.
I have to look out for me.
Proving to myself that I am somebody.