Struggling to survive.

I am troubled and I don't know why?
I am looking for answers instead I stare at the sky.
What I am looking for?
What is behind that door?
Am I too afraid to find out?
Losing faith and replacing it with doubt.
That is no way to live.
I am adult now, I am no longer a kid.
Even so, I get confused.
Lost without a clue.
Wandering around aimlessly in school.
Seeing how everyone has something to do.
I open up my hands and I see nothing.
Walking away sadly.
All those emotions pent up inside.
The pain hurts so much I want to cry.
Then so suddenly, I just stop.
Falling hard like a cinder block
Catching my breath, and standing up again.
I realize that it takes time to understand.
Understanding what I have to go through in day.
I struggle to survive while people look at me the wrong way.