Dealing with letting go.

Letting go of the memories that stay close to me.
Just me holding on to them isn't healthy.
My present isnt really the best time.
I get more upset and less kind.
Don't have anyone to blame but myself.
In the end there is only life itself.
Thanking God that I am alive.
Even so I wonder why ?
Not getting younger and yet it seem so much harder.
Why can't I see myself going much farther.
It's because I don't like to let go.
Hurting so much that nobody knows.
Why is so hard for me to understand ?
Dammit man!
Doesn't help further when I don't talk about it.
Holding it all in like it doesn't exist.
I don't know how much longer I can keep this up.
Showing sign of me starting to erupt.
Please, I don't want to end this way.
Please allow me happier days.

Where I can outside and look at the sky.
To not feel as if I'm going to die.