My Nightmare Part 1

As I close my eyes for the night.
I shake a lot and wake up with a fright.
Did I just have nightmare?
The images I saw made me realize I was scared.
Destruction of a town with my own hands.
How could I have done this? I don't understand.
Hearing the laughter behind me I turn around.
Shadowy figure that talks with hissing sound.
Its all your faultssss. Everyone is Dead because of you.
Don't be afraid, you anger is just one of many tools.
Suffering, then resentment and finally Hatred.
These things have made you go far.
Now all that's left is to leave behind that caring heart.
I see that scenario in my head.
All those people dead.
Capable of doing something like this?
Why would I want to exist.

I'm Not all that bad, Just Sad.

I wonder why I never get any breaks.
Society waits for me to make a mistake.
It laughs in my face.
Telling me that here I have no place.
What did I do ?
Can you explain cause I have no clue.
I thought I was doing the right thing as a friend.
It wasn't enough, person just didn't understand.
Great
No love but plenty of hate.
Don't even have to do anything to make an enemy.
They are in plain sight, planning and waiting.
Maybe they are right.
I'm just too nice.
That was the way I was taught.
Choosing not to fight was the way I fought.
Fought through being neglected and rejection.
Doing my best to overcome this depression.
I don't need someone who just sees the bad.
I am only human
I'm not all that bad, just sad.

A Mystery

Since that time, I've thought of you.

Since that time I feel love has renewed.

A mystery that involves a smile.

A feeling I haven't felt in a while.

Saying your name in my head brings me joy.

I'm skipping around like I'm a little boy.

Why does it matter to me ?

The feelings I have for you make me happy.

Happiness that can last.

No further need to be sad.

Talking to you, bringing back memories.

Of those good time in the 90's.

How we both like writing .

Joking around makes life more exciting.

Your smile, it draws me in.

Like the Mona Lisa, I want to see you again.

Family is Important

A hard work man working a 10 hour shift.

A decent woman in the kitchen cooking fish.

A little boy who draws from imagination.

A little family in a big nation

What do they all have in common ?

Families should be together

The Fall

I feel as my soul has left.

I wake up out of breath.

Following the light out of this dark tunnel.

Finally outside.

One wrong step. the path begins to crumble.

Falling from an incredible height.

Looking to left then to the right.

The hand grabs onto a tree branch.

Can't hold on, starts to feel a cramp.

Loosing my grip.

I try reaching out again but i miss.

Splash! Into the river I go.

Surely now I must be dead, but no.

Fighting and Surviving.

That's all that I know.

We are all part of the struggle needing help.

Continue to take part, don't give up on yourself.

Street Talk( Inspired By Robert De Niro)

You want to help me, I want to help you.
I don't want help someone who uses me as a tool.
My kindness is for the people I choose.
Don't like it, pack ur shit up and move.
I'm here for me, not for you.
When I was too trusting ,
I was the fool.
My mind couldn't exist without something being there.
Sure being alone without someone to care.
Totally fair.
The thoughts are like puffs of smoke.
Harmless at first then I start to choke.
Dwelling on the past makes life unbearable.
Telling that information, have to be careful.
Who knows who's a rat.
Who knows who might stab you in the back.
Gotta be careful as walk down the street.
Not everyone you meet is friendly.

The Past, Why am I thinking About it.

Nothing to do
Sitting in my room.
Staring at the ceiling.
I dislike having this feeling.
I am Alone and Single.
Don't even I want to mingle ?
When I open the door, I see
Nothing. Nothing at all.
I take a look at the phone.
What the hell, Not even a call.
Loneliness is in my blood.
Coming at me like flood.

Trying to escape this.

Is there a chance of me making it?

Getting my hopes up.

Feeling like I fucked up.

Why can't I just be me for a day?

Why is it hard trying to find what to say?

 I'm hiding behind the wall.

Truth comes out, I break down and fall.

Don't want to accept it but I got no choice.

I'm tired of wearing out  my voice.

Tired of this negative thinking and this empty space.

Yea, I think I need to move away from this place.

Bad memories and problems out the ass.

Feelings don't matter, they shatter just like glass.

Why am I still thinking about this shit?

It's not even worth it.

I need to go outside.

Not sit in the room and die from the inside.