Waking up with a bad headache in my room.
Is this my fault that this keeps happening?
Does this have some significant meaning?
Going out with no destination.
Takes me back to my room playing play station.
An endless loop with no way out.
It must be due to fear and doubt.
Doubt that I will not go far in life.
Fearing that things will not go right.
These two hold me back.
They are the main causes to my panic attacks.
Reasons why I can't sleep at night.
Nightmares swarm in as soon as I close my eyes.
All this pain, I feel like my hope has died.
What should I do?
Can I at least pull through?
One day where I am not going through this.
Enough with the pointless arguments.
I know what I did wrong.
I wasn't able to hold on.
Losing something I cared for.
Felt useless as it walked out the door.
I can't think straight when I am walking.
Living in the silence and not really talking.
Blaming myself.
Calling out and asking for help.
Is someone there, please let there be.
Someone who can see me crying.
I long for someone who cares.
Not judging me and is actually there.
Billion of people in the world today.
I pray for the one that will come my way.
Taking the time for them as they would for me.
To be together with her, no longer lonely.
<3
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