Boku no Kuesto(My Quest}

                                                    I feel lost today.

Thinking that there is no way.

Can I go on ?

To go far and be strong.

I want to believe that there is good in me.

To not be selfish or mean.

Allow me to continue writing.

Its my way of fighting.

Fighting off the forces of negativity.

A way of finding peace.

that is what writing achieves.

For me this is not the end.

I want to be there for my friends.

People only give me advice to help me

not be against me any way.

It starting to come back the words I need to say.

I should listen more and talk less

That right there will get me out of the mess.

Lord I ask for you to forgive me.

Forgive me for doubting.

Let me look toward the future and Smile.

A smile that last for a while.

Another Poem and Another Note. :(

Writing away as times passes by.
Hiding away from the blue sky.
Why are you still in my head.
Is there anything else to think about instead.
Dreams where you are happy with me.
That is something so I won't feel crappy.
I don't see why these thoughts still exist.
I believe I have accepted your decision
Yet, my mind wont let you go.
Try to tell me to have hope.
Doesn't pay sit around and mope.
What lies before me in the new year.
Will it be like this one full of fear.
Even so, I will not dwell on things that I cannot change.
Remember that it is gone so nothing is the same.
If there is hope for me, then I don't see it.
I feel as if I'm not even worth it.
Dreams are more forgiving than reality.
Who on this earth can forgive me.
Its burden that I bear.
To be in despair.
For the people who see as a monster that I am.
Who they claim they can understand.
But they never give me another chance.
Saying that It will just happen again.
Nobody knows that for sure.
I'm tired of feeling sore.
Not wanting any part of this anymore.

The quest for peace.

Going through all this.
Feeling like a helpless fish.
What can you do?
Keep the people you love around you.
Listen and talk less.
It steers you clear of driving into a mess.
We as people have no right to even judge.
That right is only meant for the lord above
He listen to us when we pray and he cares.
Turning us from the people who just stare.
All I would like to have is one thing.
Peace
I would share it with old and young.
Along with the blind and the dumb.
Everyone could use peace in their lives.
with a sound mind.
and enjoying good times

An attempt to Rap. lol Inspired by Dr.Dre

Ya know me.
Guy who hates fighting,
Always writing
Poem fresh outta my head.
I must be alive cause I ain't dead.
Earning my keep, Making dat bread.
Wondering what live has in store.
Is it less or is it more.
Walking out the door.
Breathing in and seeing the sky.
I must be high.
High with positivity
Fall back with that negativity.
I don't need that S**T
Not goin make me it's B**ch.
I am a man.
Man who understand.
I do what i can.
What i'm able to do.
Not hear to impress you.
All that S**t I went through, not cool.
We all fall.
I dust myself off and stand tall.
I'm here for yall.

My friends and Family that support me.

Black Man, Black Man, What do you see ?

Black Man, Black Man what do you see ?
I see a bunch of people staring at me.
Why are they looking at you Mr. Black Man.
They are looking at me because they don't understand.
What don't they understand about you.
That is I will not do the same things that they do.
Mr. Black man, you sure are strange.
That's because little one, over times things change.
As people continue to bicker and complain.
Efforts for peace might as well be in vain.
Remember this Little one.
We must work hard as well as to have fun.
A balance must exist between the two elements.
Ignore the irrelevant.
The little things in life that gives us a reason to smile.
It does help ease things once in a while.

Tired of these MFs

Going far for someone is it worth it?
Not when the result you feeling like shit.
Hanging my head like I just got dissed.
All that for nothing man I'm pissed.
These folks are something else.
Asking for my help
Why am I the last resort?
Why is it there is always something more ?
I don't ask for very much.
Just tired of looking Down, need to look up .
This path I take is a long walk.
Should I just stay quiet and not talk.
Should I let things be the way they are.
Hell no, why should you get so far?
I work hard.
Doing right by others.
I'm tired of these motherf**kers.
Here to make me feel like crap.
Hoping to push my buttons so I  can just snap
I don't want to regret
I hope for the best.
Helping others until Its my time to rest.

Trapped in Darkness, Faith will see me Through.

In the dark my fears come to life.
They completely surround me waiting to take a bite.
Alone and confused.
Don't really know what to do.
Will I survive this ordeal or
will the demons come for their meal.
I stand up to hold my ground.
They come at me and toss me around.
Around and around my mind goes.
Separate from my body, I've become a ghost.
Even as a ghost, I am not at peace.
I have let this demons have their way with me.
I didn't stand a chance.
Looking at myself, How can I call myself a man.
I pray to God and ask for his forgiveness.
I call on his name to help me sort out this mess.
Faith goes a long way.
As long as I believe, I live to see another day.

Peace Vs Violence.

Anger leads to conflict with one another.
There is has to be way to help out each other.
Why are things so inconsistent ?
Why are people are so willing to take credit ?
It is so easy to point out someone to blame.
After that things are never the same.
You want to help someone, do it because it's fair
Helping is better than leaving them alone somewhere.
I really do hope that one day.
I can say
That I am truly at peace.
Let Peace come forth and allow violence to cease.
Smile when it good, and when it is bad.
Self-control is wiser then getting mad.

Thought of Music.

Back then songs had positive messages.
It reaches outs to adults and the kids.
Nodding my head, listening to the music.
A combination of steady beats and powerful lyrics.
Artist who expresses their passion through sound.
One thing about sound is that it gets around.
Listening to those messages, hearing what they felt.
Those artist loved what they were doing.
Whether they were rapping or singing.
The same goes for people who are trying to make it
Life can be hard
but remember one thing.
Doing what you love makes you who are.

Be Different.

I want to become something different.

Where to start? Have to start lookin

Let people understand what I mean.

What it means to be Unique.

Why do most people act the same ?

Day after Day, I look for a change.

The change has to begin, within me.

The path that leads to my destiny.

Seeing New faces

Visiting New Places.

Having Both good and bad times.

Writing new poems with new rhymes.

Where does the journey begins, who is to say.

This is me, this is today.

I do know one thing.

The future is uncertain who knows what it will bring.

Another day another Poem

Going around
Looking Down.
Walking without making a sound.
Very Quietly.
So Silently.
No need to act so violently.
They don't understand.
I'm Just a man.
May not be perfect but I do what I can.
All Day
That is what I say.
Helping out people is what I do, OK?
If you don't like me,
 Don;t worry It is a Mutual feeling.
Instead of doing hurt, how about some healing.
I don't aim to be best
The reason I Talk  is to connect.
Who knows what can happen next.

Connections Can be Hard.

Seeing you across the way,
I must be lucky to see you today
Who is she? Something about you
Do I want to know her? Yes I do.
 I'm one of many guys in the world.
Who I am to you girl?
A stranger but lets get to know one another.
Who knows, it could work out for each other.
I'm interested so why not give me a chance?
So its not me, then its the next man
Why is so hard to be there.
I don't want to be saying this is unfair.
You tell me what I'm thinking without me saying a word.
Can I get a chance to even be heard?
Love connects two paths to make an intersection.
Communication is how we make the connection.
I am patient and I take my time.
Taking my time make these words rhyme.
Wondering why I don't ever get that chance.
Sometimes the reasons don't ever make sense.

Realizing Somethings. Not really a Poem

A good day comes from the good thoughts that dwell inside you.
Let those thoughts be a source of strength given to you from the lord above.
I need to understand that I'm not alone.
All I really need is a Hug.

Content in My own Skin.

Here I go again.
Saying Nobody Understands
Even as a man.
I sink below the sand.
It is a time to be happy, the people say.
Why does this happen around the holidays.
I hook up the Xbox but can't find a reason to play.
To be honest, I just want to have a good day.
Day with where I haven't hurt anyone.
A day where I can just enjoy the Sun.
Hanging out with friends and Having some from fun.
If I keep this up, Most Likely I'm done.
I get sad because I'm afraid to face my family.
I make a whole lot of mistakes for a human being.
Is there really such a thing as destiny.
Lord I do ask for your help. please.
I want to do right by me.
Writing down words to express my creativity.
To see a different expression on my face, like smiling.
A clear understand of what it means to be Happy.

To be content with living in my own skin.

Nightmares of hell

When I go to sleep, I get nightmares.
They have me shaking and gaping for air.
Falling down into a hole of despair.
I call out and wonder is anyone there?
I wake up with a start turn on the lights.
Sweating. From the devil who gave me such a fright.
He laughs at me and tells me I belong with him.
That there is no point in resisting, just let him win.
I fEel the wrong I have done to other will lead me to hell.
Where there is fire and people burning and no wells.
Why am I talking this way.
It's on my mind at times during the day
I don't want to go down there.
But I i will be  on my away if I don't get help.

A note in a form a poem.

What is wrong ?
My hope is gone.
All because of resh
Stuck in all this mess.
what to do.
Should I tie up a noose.
Let my body hang loose.
Would it matter if I wasnt there.
Lifeless body hanging in the air.
Thoughts like these come to me.
With no one around, who really can stop me.
Should haven't said anything at all.
Try to not think about it.
Doesn't work
No one here except me in this room.
Should I keep fighting
or fall toward impending doom.
The choice is mine but I don't see much to keep me here.
This has been a rough year.
I know it's not the answer
23 yrs of pain.
Neglection
And
Rejection.
give me enough reason to.
didn't mean to hurt you.
But it seems this is all can do.
To not exist all.
Cause I continue to fall.

Let the Passion flow.

She,
Who is She?
She is a mystery.
A mystery that is worth solving.
Smiling when the thoughts come.
Sad when then the thoughts are gone.
Writing out my passion, laying it all down.
These words allow my mind to be sound.
Looking up and seeing your face.
Makes my heart race.
Letting me know that I'm in the right place.
To bring myself closer to you.
You mean so much yes you do.
I would like to see this through.
Treating you right.
Learn to avoid the fight.
Make love to you in the night.
I acknowledge that you are the one for me.
Not just someone but a part of my destiny.
Being Honest and caring wholeheartedly.
Tell me what you need
Tell me how you feel,
These words I'm expressing are for real.
You believe in truth.
Let me show what I can do
Staying true
to
and
by
you.

A Poem For today.

I was once a smiling kid who only had one wish.
To be a hero.
But now as an adult, I feel more like zero.
Nothing has change.
The nightmares stay the same.
Not really able to do much.
I feel as if I've got the rotten luck.
Where do I go.
What do I do.
Being alone in the room,
Upset and confused.
Why am I not able to have a plan.
Plan to do something else besides Stand.
Time is just Flying by.
Can't sit around.
Have to do something.
Now

Realizing where I am.

I start at the base and look toward the top.
My brain is focused, there is no way to stop.
I reach for the stub
Giving it a tug
I need to establish my grip.
One wrong move and that's it.
Holding on and seeing what's around me.
Should I hang on or take the leap.
Leaping was reckless
Left with big scratches.
As I look toward the sky
Scratching my head wondering why?
 Why can't I reach the top.
To have come so far and be stuck with a block.
The same block that prevents me
from accessing that untapped potential.
Because I act as I am
and no that doesn't make mental.
I will go through life being myself
For the world, and my future.
I'm will not change into someone else.

Love on the Brain.

 

Learning from my past.
Can't act to fast.
Just take it slow.
Maybe, just maybe one day
You know.
It's a big world out there.
Far from nice and anything but fair.
Showing that you're real as can be.
Confidence is a necessity.
Love is an experience, it's not just a thing.
Love is unknown, who know what it will bring.
I wsh I knew what it felt like to love in that way.
If I could have the feeling, it would brighten up the day.
Balance is the key.
I seek to find someone who balance me.
Someone who is unlike the other fish.
Someone who sees that I exist.
That's all I ask for.
Nothing more.