What Am I ?

Sometimes I wonder Why do I even exist.
To be honest I am tired with dealing with this.
Making an effort to express my feelings.
Being judged and people don't want to be near me.
At times I go quiet and just fade away.
Days go by, I pray for a good day.
I pray for the day for someone who doesn't run.
It won't be cloudy, it is time for the sun.
All these clouds and rain.
 the past is behind me, nothing is the same.
I thought I had overcame my past.
Looking at it in the face, just makes me mad.
All it does is remind me of what I have done.
Why am I sad, while you can have fun.
All that I've done, is that all you can think about?
Having self-control, I see no reason to shout.
I am very different from you.
I am not holding a grudge, it's just not cool.
Just because i am quiet doesn't make me weak.
I stand tall as a leader and use my voice to speak.