Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Knowing What I feel.

Watching the hourglass
Sitting in my class.
Thoughts swirl in my head.
Telling me I am better off dead.
Not going to give in to that.
I am going to live and not feel like crap.
To be alive each day, I thank God.
Giving me advice on what to do right on the spot.
I am truly thankfully for being alive.
Even though sometimes I wonder why.
Going through a lot, I see myself as a survivor.
Getting through it all, all the pain and the hurt.
Got that lonely feeling again.
What is it that I am unable to understand.
Am I afraid to be alone?
To be close to someone fearing that they might go.
I hear all the time, if it happens then it was meant to.
Enduring with all my patience these hard times.
Finding really hard to walk without using my eyes.
I don't like being in that room full of despair.
My eyes are getting bad, I need a new pair.
Showing up to my classes each day.
I tell me myself , I should pray.
Asking to be forgiven for the things I did.
Don't want rush and do something stupid.
At the end, I know what I need.
Being myself content and without greed.

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