One Life- Remembering My Purpose.

We each have only one life. In this one life, there are obstacles to overcome. At times, these obstacles reveal themselves when it is most inconvenient. How to solve the problem requires you to think. I cannot solve anything or go forward if I don’t start. Being focused is good; it makes accomplishing goals much easier. Do not only focus on one thing in particular or else I forget what else is going on. This past month has been hard. I have been falling behind in my classes, Feeling depressed and losing motivation. Giving up is not an option for me even though at time I see that choice that comes up often. I made a vow while I was in the psych ward that I would change and get better. That means I am out of the comfort zone I was in before and now I have to think for myself. To be honest, this is the start that I need in order for me to change. The family that I live with has given me sanctuary and now I am currently staying there.

I am grateful for their kindness and I also thank God for them being there for me in the first place. The shadows of the past surround me whenever I am by myself. At times I feel myself shaking, trying to break free of their hold. I been carrying that load for a while now and it is time to leave that bag right where it belongs. It has been nothing but trouble for me. Going back and making attempts to fix the wrong doesn’t always work. Accepting what I cannot control is a part of life. I understand that and I am keeping my distance. Telling everyone what I go through is a habit I must break. Doesn’t really make the situation any better. In the end, I value peace more than I value conflict against others. A sound mind is what I aim for and I do positive things to help me get there.

God, Friends, and Family are the greatest support in my life. Since this ordeal has happened they have been there to lend an ear. Even the people around who I am unfamiliar with have given me their input on the situation. I do think about the good things that have happened. Knowing that negativity can leave its mark at any time, allows me to be aware. Aware that where is good, there is also evil.  I will not however let that consume me. Remembering and realizing what has happened in the past. I see what I must do instead of repeating the mistakes from before. October is at its end already and now I must vow to continue to finish this semester and pass my classes. I know that I am doing something with my life instead of nothing.